Love resides here.

When we first met Josie two and a half years ago, there was just something about her.  You know when you meet someone and you just immediately feel at peace.  We felt that way with Josie.  She carried herself with so much grace.  She showed such a vision for her organization, herself and the children under her care.  She interacted with the children and the staff with kindness and a softness that I was immediately drawn too.  You can find all kinds of horrible stories about orphanages in third world countries.  You won't find those at House of Love and Hope.  Don't misunderstand me, though. How each child came to be with Josie is a loss, a tragedy all their own in one way or another.  There is no way to get around those realities, but how they are provided for now is a great example of what God can accomplish with a sacrificial soul like Josie's.

My weekend was spent with Josie and the kids, but first a little adventure, Haiti-style, to start us off!  The original plan was to spend the afternoon at the Apparent project or Look out Point and then Leonard would take me and Alana and maybe Cassie to Josie's in the evening on his way home (even though it was definitely not on his way home.)  That morning while discussing plans though it was decided that going to HOLH today would work better since there would be a lot of driving back and forth through P-A-P on Sunday and we could avoid that.  So I emailed Josie and we asked Leonard to call her.  It all seemed like it was going to work out ok!

First off, some of the crew went with Leonard and the big green bus to buy a LOAD of rice and beans!  People were so generous and they had over $5000 to purchase food!  

Do you know how much food $5000 can buy in Haiti??

Enough to flatten a tire!

It sounded like there was maybe a little bit of tension at the gate leaving the warehouse area, but as Leonard loves to say, it was "no problem."  We off-loaded the first haul, Leonard fixed the tire and went back for the second load.

160 bags of rice (50 lbs each), 60 bags of beans (30 lbs each), 2 bags of flour (I think 100 lbs each?) and several jugs of cooking oil.  Amazing!

With having to take two trips to the warehouse and the flat tire, we ended up leaving for Josie's quite late.  I think it was around 130 or 2 in the afternoon.  We were planning on stopping at the Croix des Bouquet metal market too, which we had heard was super cool and had all kinds of the metal artwork that they are well known for.  I had not gotten a response from Josie about the whole group going, but Leonard was going to call her so we thought that would be ok.  I figured the kids would be home from school around 4 or so and at the time, I didn't know Josie had another job so I figured she would be there too.  

As we headed out to Croix des Bouquet, we came to a bit of a traffic jam.  Wasn't to0 concerning cause it's just the way it is.  We knew something was up when Pierre and Marcelin jumped out and walked aways to see what was going on.  Pierre came walking back briskly, said something to Leonard, who said something to some guy next to us on the road, who then made room and helped Leonard pull a U-turn.  At that point, I wasn't sure if there was trouble ahead or just an impossible traffic jam.  I was also a little concerned that Marcelin had not made it back to the bus and we were clearly leaving without him.  Someone asked Leonard what was up and he just said trouble ahead and we can't go to Croix des Bouquet.  At which point, I was glad I had sunglasses on.  I was painfully disappointed.  If I didn't make it there that night, I didn't know if I could make it there at all, and it was something I was so very much looking forward to doing.  I was thankful for thoughtful friends and semi-strangers who held my hand and patted me on the back.  They knew how important it was to me.

Well, eventually, we see a moto riding up fast alongside us and it's Marcelin!  He hopped off and jumped on the bus.  Resourceful people, I'm telling you!  As we came to the round-about near the airport, Leonard kept going and started down a way that I remember being the way to get to Josie's.  Someone asked Leonard if we were going to Croix des Bouquet and he smiled and said, "Yes!"  Roller coaster, over here!  So we head to the metal market, everyone jumps out and has 30 minutes to shop.  It really was a cool place and I'd like to go back and spend some more time there! I managed to find a few lovely things in the 30 minutes, of course.

And we made up  a new Haiti game...

Chicken. Dead or napping?

In case you are curious, it's napping.  We all got a kick out of it :-)

Then off to HOLH!!
Giddy.  That is about all I can say to describe how I feel as we pull up to the gate.  

So we pull in and no one is home except the nannies. So, Josie calls Leonard and I talk with her.  She says to stay, stay and she is coming.  So we unload their rice and beans and hang out and wait for 20 minutes or so and the kids pull up from school around 530pm.  

Josie is not with them and I'm still a little confused by all that.  Anyway, I hug all the kids and we settle in to do some things with them.  

By 630, though, the group really needs to go, so they head out and Alana and I just kinda shrug and say, "now what."  No Josie yet, so we let the girls play with our hair and get the pipe cleaners out for them to make stuff with.  

It was all fine, but as bedtime approached we wondered if the kids should be getting ready for bed or what.  The nannies took over and started getting them all cleaned up.  I was back in the office getting some things together when Marie-flore, one of the older girls, comes running in, "Mama Josie, Mama Josie!"  I walk outside and see Josie still in her truck with all the kids crowding her, hugging and talking and so so happy to see her.  It was such a sweet moment to see.  Love resides here.  The real stuff.  

Josie is supremely apologetic for how late it is and I tell her it's totally our fault for changing plans on her and I had no idea she was working another job!  So, kids are mostly ready for bed, but Josie has brought chocolate ice cream and she hands it to me!  I pass around bites as we're waiting for plates.  Amessaminthe takes a bite and spits it out!  I couldn't believe it!  She makes all kinds of faces and I just laugh. Then Nickson does the same!  Do they really not like chocolate ice cream?  Turns out, it was just too cold for them, I think!  They ate the rest off a plate :)

Then bedtime for all.  Josie had put two mattresses on cinder blocks down for us.  The kids all circled around and held hands and sang and prayed and hugged and kissed each other good night and then to bed.  It was such a precious gift to get to be present for their evening routine.  I loved it!

This is a supremely long post, but I don't want to miss anything. More for my sake than for anyone that happens to read this novel!

More to unpack later! 

I love it when our plans fall apart.

Oh, Haiti.  
How I love you.  
Let me count the ways.
You are warm year-round. 
You have so much sunshine to share.
You are chaos that soothes my soul.
You are home to so many that I have come to love.
You bustle and burst with hope.
You show me what faith and compassion look like in action.
You let me share your stories and heartaches.

I've been home this time for about a week.  Transition-wise, this has been the easiest of the trips.  I am sure it has some to do with having friends on the trip with me in Heather and Seth, Alana and Cassie.  I'm sure it has something to do with knowing we were going to submit our adoption application asap.  Regardless, it's been good.

This trip had so many layers and plans changed and activities altered and that made it so beautiful in every way.
The weeks schedule was tentative, as usual, but we thought we would spend 3 or 4 partial days at Lophane's working on a guesthouse.  We thought we would get to the children's hospital and the Home for the Dying.  We thought maybe we would get to go do water therapy with the Notre Maison kids.  All good things.
How the week transpired made for some beautiful stories of provision and letting go of control.  Good lessons for all of us, I am know.
Day 1 and 2 went as planned.  Later in the trip, we all had to readjust!
The easiest way to unpack the stories of the week is to do them day by day, I think.  Each person that went on this trip has their story.  Each person we encounter and spend time with while we are there has their story.  There is nothing I can write that can give the full depth of those stories, except my own.  I want be open about the people and places without minimizing their stories.  As it is most places, Haiti is not always as it first seems.  As I have said before, it is everything you would expect a third world country to be, but the people we know are not poor in any way that matters.  They have an abundance of joy and kindness and compassion and love.  They are why we go.

Wednesday was travel day for most of the group and all but two members got into Port Au Prince some time during that day.  
Cassie, Alana and I met up in Miami Tuesday evening and hauled 300 lbs of donations from the airport to the hotel and then back to the airport the next morning.  We will be checking that stuff through next time, but we were all thankful for our Crossfitty-ness! 

I don't think I can fully express how meaningful it was to have these two go to Haiti with me.  Their hearts and passion for all the people they met did not surprise me one bit, because it is who they are on a daily basis.  I came home this time feeling like I have a team that is now connected to Haiti and that is a wonderful feeling!

Leaving Miami with part of the group!

It was Leonard's birthday so Kim made little signs for him in Kreyol!

THIS is why we go to Haiti.  This is Gus and Keith.  Gus has special needs and has been at Gertrude's for years and Keith has a super special relationship with him.  They love each other.  We got in before Kim and Keith and I was hugging on Gus and told him Keith was coming soon!  You would not believe the squeal that came out of him!  When Keith finally got there, this was his greeting!
We go to Haiti because relationships matter and being present with our friends there matters and hugs like this matter!

 

All the donations took over the playroom.  It took us all week to get this all sorted and distributed!
Many people, myself included, have wondered why we bring so much "stuff" to Haiti.  Why not just purchase these things there?  The truth is, it is less expensive for us to bring bags of donations than it would be to purchase these items in country.  Sometimes I think it is worth it to purchase things in country as it helps the economy here, but when we are trying to have items for multiple orphanages and schools and churches, this makes the most sense, right now.  Shoes, school supplies and medicines are quite expensive here so when can bring them those items the money goes farther and  that is helpful.

Hugged on Rosie girl as much as I could!  Rosie is Gertrude's daughter and such a sweetheart.  I didn't tell her I was coming this trip cause surprises are fun :-).  She loves it when people come to stay, but leaving is always hard!

 Thursday morning was spent at Lophane's, a member and youth director at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church.  He is building a guesthouse that will also be used as a youth center.  People may wonder about these "guesthouses" and why they are so valuable to a community in Haiti.  What happens when a guesthouse is run well, is employment.  This particular place will hopefully employ at least 10 people.  In a country that is in desperate need of jobs, that is a good thing.  The location of this property is close to where many of the youth of the congregation live so it will serve as an after school center and a place the youth can spend time together, as well.

Keith drove us to the work site and showed us his seriously good driving skills. He fit that bus into a space that a bus shouldn't be able to fit into!

The boys were there to help work!  If you remember two years ago, I met these three, Junior, Roby and Marcelin, at Leogane and we've all stayed in touch!  

Heather wrapping the rebar "frame" for a concrete base for a wall.

Primitive is probably the best way to describe how construction works in Haiti.  The mixing of the concrete is not for the faint of heart or the perfectionist.  I thought I was neither of those things, but I lasted about 30 seconds as a mixer.  It took a skill that I do not possess...YET!  It was a pile on the ground of gravel, which we bucketed to the pile from various spots on the property, sand which was shoveled into the pile from a different pile, water which was hauled up by the bucket from the water reservoir under the house, and a bag or two of cement.  This was then mixed with shovels by men who are some of the hardest workers I've seen and know the just right consistency needed.  We make and manufacture all kinds of equipment in this country to make things as easy and simple as possible.  These men just do with what they have.  It is incredible. 

lunch break

 We got all kinds of dirty that day and I thought for sure I could convince Chad that new shoes were in order after I got home.  He said I just needed a hose ;-)  I suppose so!

After we were done for the day at Lophane's we headed to the airport to pick up two more from the team.  Leonard parked us outside the airport so we wouldn't have to pay for parking.  A few went in to get them and the rest of us just hung out.  A major blessing for the whole trip was this lovely lady. 

Jill Jack.

 Ever heard of her?  You will!!
She's a folksy/rock/awesome singer/songwriter and provided the soundtrack for this trip.  

Look her up!

It was incredible and she is a sweetheart to boot!  I can't wait to stay in touch with her and hit up some of her concerts!!

My laying on a concrete wall that had a major drop-off into a ravine of trash and sewage, was not comforting to some.  I found it be a just fine place to get some sunshine :-)

After we picked up Mark and Bill, two priceless individuals who have been to Haiti 8ish times(they couldn't remember if it was 7 or 8), we headed back to Gertrude's to go through donations and play with the kids.

 Each morning and evening we met on the rooftop for devotions.  This always proves to be a special time for the group.  When you have 16 people from all over the country, this gives us a chance to connect and process our days together and begin and end in the Word.  It was an anchoring time for me.  I desperately needed those moments each day and I'm sure others would agree they did too.

 Well, that's Day 1 and 2.  I know it's so much "stuff", but each day is just full of moments to remember.  The next day, Friday, we got to go to House of Love and Hope and Alana and I spent the weekend.  Those moments I will never forget!!

Friday, Saturday and Sunday coming up next...

Faith, hope and love.

I could write a book about my recent adventure in Haiti, but this first.

I've noticed lately all the verses and quotes that talk about faith. That it's something we have to cling to.  That it's something that is fought for.  That it is tested.  And that sometimes it is weak.  That Jesus mentions those of "little faith."  That we must stand firm in it.

Basically that faith isn't a cake walk.  It's like all those centuries ago, God knew there would be times in our lives when faith wasn't easy to keep.
I have been of little faith much over the past year or so.  And I don't know why.  I've struggled with doubt for no real reason.  I've struggled with questions for no real reason.  I've just flat out struggled with faith for no apparent reason.  I can't even quite example it to myself, let alone another person.  My inner dialogue has been relentless at times and at peace at times. It's been internally exhausting.  
So those words that I had never really, truly, had to understand about fighting, clinging, standing firm, I understand now.  It feels fragile so I cling to that faith.  Sometimes barely.  Sometimes I cling to other people's faith because it feels more stable.
And I hold on to the words and promises that say He will sustain me.  I believe it.  I have to.  He will continue to hold onto me and that I will eventually not just stand, but stand firm in faith and not be rocked by my own thoughts and doubts because the coming months and years will be difficult and I want to walk them with faith that can move mountains.

We submitted our adoption application this morning with hopeful hearts. We have waited for years to be at this moment.  I was somewhat unprepared for how emotional pressing that submit button would be.  Does anyone else find the irony of a "submit" button on an adoption application?  Because that is exactly what it feels like. There is profound submission required in this process. To God. To agencies. To the governments.  There is no other way around it.  We have in our minds how we want this to end and there is no guarantee it will move that way.  That thought is enough to send me into a spiral. Clinging, fighting for faith that He will see us through regardless. 
It is not easy.
There are so many that have already given us such encouragement and we do not take that for granted.  It will take an army to fundraise the money needed.  It will take an army to hold us up over these months, but what is so amazing is I can look at every corner of our lives and see that army.  They are already in place. We have so many people that want to come alongside us in this and I am overwhelmed.  We are humbled and hopeful beyond words. So very hopeful.   
Haiti 2015 stories coming soon...So much goodness in them. :-)

Well that changes things,

but not really.
There are few things I have anticipated more these past few years than finding out we can start the adoption process and maybe, just maybe adopt from House of Love and Hope.  
We could have started it years ago, but we want to adopt from there.  Or at least have a shot at adopting from there.  All along we knew we may not be able to, but we wanted to wait until they were licensed to start so we had a chance.  
At the time, we understood the laws to be that we would have to have Josie work with a US agency and then we would apply through that agency and request HOLH.  So we waited for that process of licensing to work itself out in Haiti.  We helped where we could, but it was all on them to get that done.  And she did it! In December we heard they had their license and I could start looking for an agency to work with them.
I looked through the approved adoption providers and emailed a few last week.  I heard back from two and a few days ago talked to a wonderfully, kind woman, Meredith.  She informed us that, in fact, agencies and orphanages are no longer allowed to work together.  The Haitian adoption department makes matches from the entire pool of adoptable orphans when dossier come in.
Essentially, we could apply TODAY and begin the process.  
Good news! Right??
Yes, but with it comes an avalanche of fear and questions.  We have children we would like to adopt.  We know we can't choose them.  We know the Haitian government makes matches and we now know that agencies and orphanages don't even work together. We know that we may very well get matched with children that are not from HOLH.  
The way it is now is that because we want siblings and older siblings at that, we can request specific children, but we don't know if they will honor that request or not.  
So many questions.
What if they match us with other siblings?  Do we go with that match?  What if the children from HOLH get adopted to someone else in the process?  What if... What if...What if...
I have had an amazing sense of peace throughout these past years. I haven't felt like we needed to rush or panic or anything.  I want to have that peace throughout, but it is hard to hold right now.  
So I'm heading to Haiti, by God's grace, on Tuesday and I will visit with Josie.  When I get back, Chad and I will apply to an agency and "officially" start this process.  We're going to continue hanging on to trust and hope that God has this already planned out for us. Some times I'm sure with every fiber of our being.  

Daunting

As I prepare for this, my fourth trip, to Haiti, the preparation looks much like it has on the other trips.  Piles of donations on my bar, many questions and conversations about what we'll be doing, where we'll be going, a constant see-saw of thoughts from here to there and back to here, a mental battle to stay present here until I leave.

Some things look different though.  
This time, I'm packing up nebulizers and meds for a little girl we care deeply for.  
That feels big.  
This time, I'm emailing agencies trying to get information together before we go for Josie on how to go about contracting with a US agency.  Emails are going out with whispered prayers to a few agencies and then I'm waiting.  Will they say no, they aren't working with new orphanages?  Will they say, yes, we'd love to talk with her?  Will they reply?  I'm just sending out a few to start to ones that have open applications to Haiti right now.  I'll get emails sent to all the approved agencies later this week.  I don't even know why I'm going about it this way. 
I'm scared.  Scared they'll all say no.  Then what?  
Scared that they'll say yes and then the real stuff starts.  As I'm looking through agency sites, I'll look at their fees.  
Daunting.
$22,000
$34,000
$37,000
All totals I've seen.  
That scares me.  I don't know how that part of this is suppose to work out.  I really don't.  All I can do is trust that it will.  But that trust is loaded and scary and filled with doubt.  Those numbers scream at me. Unreasonable.  Impossible.  And I can't argue with that.  It does seem impossible.  No doubt.
And, yet, I can't stop believing that at some point, we'll be on the other side of an adoption.  We haven't felt a "stopping" point yet. We're still going to plug along believing this is all going to work out one way or another.

To resolve or not to resolve...

It's no secret that I'm not a fan of New Years resolutions.  Mostly because I'm not a goal oriented person and as much as I like the idea of becoming a more aware, healthy, present individual, a once a year, "I'm gonna do it this time" mentality sucks the life out of me quick.  Cause I think, "Really? If I wanted to do something badly enough I would just do it without a NY resolution to drive me." Mostly, it's because I'm kinda super  lazy when it comes to sticking with things.
BUT...there is always a but, right?  We're too complicated and intricate as humans to have any real hard and fast rules about ourselves, am I right?  
I made a kind of resolution.  Maybe it's more of a challenge.  A "I wonder if I could do it" challenge.  
I wonder if I could go a full year and not buy any clothes for myself.  And I wonder if I could go a full year and not add anything to my house(furniture, accessories, decor).
I've been thinking this past month of all the things we have, materialistically.  It's quite a bit.  
I literally do not need a single article of clothing or a single piece of furniture/decoration/home remodel/painting project, etc.  
I SAY I'm not materialistic, but I am.  I like being able to buy a shirt when I want to just cause I think it's pretty.  I like buying throw pillows cause I think they'll add some color to the living room.  Although I like my decor pretty simple and clutter free, I like pretty things.  I want a rug for our living room and bar stools and I want to redo our bedroom and repaint our kitchen cabinets.  I want to buy a new dress and some cute shoes.  
So I wonder if I could go the whole year and say no to that impulse every time.  We don't always have the extra money to buy those things, but we do often enough for me to not be in need of a single, stinkin' thing.  So we're doing alright, I guess.
I'm giving it a go.  So far two weeks in, I feel like its no problem.  It's winter and nothing about winter makes me want to buy anything or dress in anything cute.  
Now spring and summer may be a different story.  Warm weather makes me happy and when I'm happy I want to do house projects and buy cute summer clothes.  So we'll see.  Mostly I just want to do it to save some money (another post on that later!) and see if I can get by with what I have(I am certain I can, but I won't want to!)  And maybe there in lies the lesson.  I can absolutely go a whole year without another article of clothing or thing in my house, but I won't want to.  So maybe this is more about being a little uncomfortable and saying no to some things that don't really matter so maybe I can say yes to some bigger more valuable things.  
I don't know.  
We'll see how it all plays out! 

Have I got a story for you.

There are many, many things I want in this life and I have been gifted with many, many of those wants.  Some things seem to be put on hold indefinitely only to then be wrapped up and delivered in a package too perfect to wonder if it's from God.   

I wanted to go to Haiti in February.  So badly.  It was with our friends, Kim and Keith and Heather and Seth and others I had met on a previous trip and others I hadn't met yet.  Last summer/fall when they were planning the Feb. 2015 trip, I decided to back out. It just didn't feel like a good time to go when we really felt like we would be in the adoption process sometime in 2015.  We could use the money for other things.  
I let it go.  Mostly.
Trusted that we would be going to this little country we love so much again soon.  Just not in February.  
I would have to wait longer to see these faces.

Or see this stunning landscape 

Then a chain of events followed that one could easily pass off as coincidence or unrelated, but I can't look at these pieces and not see God's hand and hear His voice saying, "Go. For others sake, for My sake, and for you."   
Link 1. The chain starts in Oct. when my grandma passed away.  Would Haiti have even been our radar without her?  I don't know, but I can't imagine it would have to the degree it is now.  If we are fortunate enough to adopt children from Haiti, it will be my greatest sorrow that she will never get to meet her Haitian grandchildren.  To see what she and my grandpa started in our family.  Soon after her funeral, my parents came to visit and brought some money from her and said we could use it for adoption expenses or whatever.  We set it aside with hope that it could be used sooner rather than later.  I secretly hoped I could use it for a ticket to go in February, but didn't say anything to Chad or anyone because I knew we would need it for adoption at some point and I didn't "NEED" to go.
Link 2. Turns out we needed it sooner, but not in the way we wanted. Our gym affiliation fees and insurance are due each year in Nov/Dec/Jan. Big expenses and with Christmas too, we ended up using that money from my grandma.  I knew we would be able to put it back in savings later, but I still silently felt like I was losing my only chance for the February trip.  
Link 3. December 15, I got an email from Kim out of the blue.  She was going through the team list for February. She knew it was late to get in on the team.  She knew money was tight.  She knew it would be tough to work out.  But she wrote anyway to say she was thinking about me and she really wanted this to work out for me. At the time, I knew it wasn't possible.  I told her I'd pray about it and talk to Chad, but it would be a miracle if it worked out.
Link 4. The week before Christmas we got our first ice/snow storm and it came on later in the evening on a Wednesday.  Autumn and Cory go to youth club at our church on Wednesdays in a town about 30 minutes away.  Chad went to get them that night.  On their way home, he slid on a bridge, hit a guardrail, did a 360 and hit the other guardrail.  Scary for everyone! Thankfully, no one was hurt badly.  The kids both had some whiplash and Chad hit his shoulder on the window pretty hard.  The truck was drivable, but pretty beat up.  He got it home and the next days we waited on an estimate and on whether our insurance would total it our not.  If they didn't, we'd have to pay the $1000 deductible.  If they totaled it, we just hoped they gave us enough to pay it off.
Link 5. We found out they were going to total the truck AND we would get more than we owed on it.  More than what a flight to Haiti costs. At this point, I hadn't told Chad that Kim had emailed. I hadn't told him how much I had been thinking about this trip in February.  I held those thoughts and prayers close.  I knew I didn't "need" to go. I knew that extra money was much needed other places.  I knew it didn't make sense.  But I also knew every chance I get to spend time with our "maybe forever" kids, was priceless.  I knew if I didn't go, our new church family wouldn't know about our Haiti love, or our desire to adopt.  I knew if I didn't go, I wouldn't get asked to speak to people about Haiti and the mission society and Josie and Thomas and all that they do.  
Link 6. So I asked Chad about it.  I might have begged a little.  I knew in his logical mind, this was not logical.  I knew in my illogical mind, that I didn't care if it was logical.  When I told him about the speaking opportunities I felt like I was losing, he agreed.  That made sense to him.  It's not that he didn't want me to go, he does. He knows the value of these trips having been twice himself.  He knows how I ache for this place.  He knows me. So, I started telling people I was going.
Link 7. My friend Alana who had wanted to go originally too, but had backed out as well for medical reasons, said well, maybe she COULD go after all.   She told her mom and her husband and they both encouraged her to go.  Her mom who is as kind as they come offered her flight miles.  She apparently accumulates them faster than she can use them.  She had enough for Alana's entire flight and I was able to save about $100 using them.  
Link 8. Random Friday in January and I get a text from my friend Cassie.  She was driving and just started thinking about the Haiti kids and how much she wanted to be able to go someday.  I hadn't told her we were going to Haiti in Feb, but said "How about going with us THIS time??"  A total miracle if she could raise the money for this trip when it was less than a month away.  Just a few short days later, it was a go.  She had enormous support from her family and friends and church AND Alana's mom donated more miles so Cassie's flight was only about half what it would have been.  
Link 9.  I email Josie and tell her I'm going to visit.  She emails back with a favor.  Amessaminthe has asthma.  We didn't know this. She has had to go to the hospital for an attack which is no small feat there.  A breathing machine is what Josie asked for and I don't have experience with asthma so I ask Jamie what that means.  A nebulizer is needed, but is no good without the drugs used with it. It's a shot in the dark because those are prescription meds here.  So I take to the great stage of Facebook and ask for a nebulizer.  I get them and then some.  My friend Kelsey hands me a neb and some meds a few days later.  Kim Slygh whom I met in Haiti two years ago, "happens" to be a respiratory nurse.  She is putting together a box of everything she can so that Minthe will have what she needs. This is our "maybe forever" daughter.  I can't be her mother yet and I don't know if I ever will be given that chance, but to be able to carry with me the things she needs to breath easier is the most amazing gift I could have at this point.  
These links, these pieces of a puzzle, all connect to make for a really beautiful story, am I right??
So, social media comes into play and we tell people we're going and what things we would like to take with us and we set up a fundraiser row-a-thon to offset some of the other expenses and people give.  E.V.E.R.Y.T.I.M.E this happens.  I am always amazed at the generosity that people display for a place they have no connection to except through us.  Haiti is all wrapped up and around my heart, but for all these other people who give, they give out of such a place of genuine kindness.  And it leaves me overwhelmed and humbled and often on the brink of tears.  

And so I'm going to Haiti in February.  And I get to have 2 friends go with me.  And I get to spend a night or two at House of Love and Hope with our "maybe forever" kids.  And I get to hand Josie equipment and medicine to offer some relief for Minthe.  
It's a chain of events that can't help but make me think that God hears my quiet prayers and my silent dreams and gives me my wants far beyond what I could imagine.