32

I am loving the 30s.  Truly.  I wonder if this shifts the closer I get to 40???  Don't tell me if it tanks as the number ticks up.

The 20s were no joke.  Major life happened in my 20s.  Marriage (technically that was the teens), all my children (so far), big moves, major life changing months of single parenting, death of my brother, friendships gained and lost, identity struggles, financial struggles.  The list is endless. I didn't know if I would make it out of my 20s whole. 

Well, obviously, I did, but not without a few scars. 
Much has changed in these past few years of my new decade.  Not much outwardly, but I feel it in my soul.  A solidarity with who and whose I am.  A peace.  A calm.  An understanding.  I cannot explain it fully, but I like it. 
I don't feel rattled by the everyday or the unknown.
I don't feel driven by some arbitrary set of ideals.  I don't feel bullied by what the world thinks I need to know or believe or aspire to. 
I am happy with my life.  Not because it is perfect or easy or simple, but because it is none of those thing.  It is made up of all the things I have chosen, worked for, cried over, and prayed about.  Many times, I wondered if I'd chosen correctly, or if some things were worth the work.

If I could, I'd go back and hug my 20 something self and tell her to just keep holding on...the fog lifts, the heart settles, the babies grow.  The "old" life I had so young rapidly becomes today.  A young me with "old" kids, a miraculously good marriage, solid friendships and family relationships and I'd tell her to choose it all again.