Friday, July 26, 2013

Never boring.

Baby is 5 today.  His antics are many.  His laugh is contagious.  His words are endless.  His snuggles are precious. 
Caleb came into this world in the calm of our house, in the quiet of a Saturday morning.  And rocked our world.

He has always been a challenge and with each one, he pushed us to be more patient, more selfless, and increased our ability to function on no sleep.  
He's an endless source of humor and embarrassment. 
In fact, in honor of his birthday, I have two fun little stories for you...


The other day our neighbor girl came running in the house out of breath.  She said, breathing hard, "My heart is beating so fast!  Here, Caleb, feel my heart."  He did and then sat back down at the table.  A full minute later, he says, "Mom, those things you call boobs, that's actually your heart."
Um, no.

And this morning...out of nowhere, "Cory told me one time that girls pee out of their butts."
Um, no.

It's never boring with Caleb in the house. :)

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The best laid plans...

of mice and men often go awry.
Or from the actual poem...

The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,
Gang aft agley, --Robert Burns



I have learned over the years that planning is great and generally beneficial.  It is also, at times, completely useless.
Planning things does not make me feel more secure or less stressed.  Quite the opposite sometimes. I like vague plans and maybes.  I'm sure it drives people crazy.
I am, by nature, not a planner.  I understand that some are and I have actually a good bit of those people surrounding me.  My husband is one. Sort of.  I think I've wore him down a bit.  I birthed a planner, Autumn.  My mom and older sister are planners, although you wouldn't guess it by their easy-going attitudes.  Some of my closest friends are planners.  I think I gravitate towards these people because they are so weird.  Ha!  Kidding.  Sort of.

Well, guess what, folks?  I have a plan.  I hold out very little hope that I will hold to it, but I'm gonna give it a go.  I plan on completing an associate's degree in Physical Therapy assistance.  I'm enrolled in 2 classes for August.  Really one and the other is a week long prerequisite.  Nothing crazy, now.  I've got this plan in mind...it involves Chad running the gym and me working in a physical therapy office.  A few years from now.  Maybe 5 or so.  It sounds pretty good right now, but plans generally do until you try to execute them. 

I am certain that to most people who completed college or set out to do something and actually followed through with it, may not understand my angst with all this.  Planning out what I would like to do in 5 years or 2 years or tomorrow actually makes me quite anxious.  I don't like it.  What if I change my mind?  I don't want to come across as a flake. 
I just like the unknown.  The empty days.  The vague sense of what may happen rather then the certainty that something will.  I like sitting back and watching things unfold, not making them unfold.  Now, obviously, if I want to work in a physical therapy office, doing physical therapy, I will need a degree.  Hence, my plan.
A big part of my motivation in all this is actually Chad.  He just wants to run that gym full time.  There have only been a few short years of his life that he's had one job.  Except for those Navy years, his "secondary" job has been the one he was passionate about.  During school, it was football.  His first job was the Y, with his passion, football, on the side.  Now his job at Williams, with CrossFit on the side. I know it gets old for him.  So what if?  What if I can do something I like and he can do something he loves?  I can do that.  I think.
I imagine that if I do accomplish this task it will not be without stress, or tears, or questions.  It may be the one thing I will stick with.  Besides my husband...and kids...and family...and friends(at least the ones who agree we're friends)...and Haiti.  I'll stick with those people.  But this, this would be a new one. 
I wonder if I'll feel like that mouse in Burn's poem at some point...

Sunday, July 14, 2013

13

It may seem strange that I settle into writing a wedding anniversary post over a month after our actual anniversary, but that is a testament to our lives right now. 
I didn't know if I would get around to this one, but something kept nagging at me to write it.  Just write it.  So I'm writing it.


We were hanging out with some great friends late, late, late one evening(could have been morning) a few weeks ago, and we were talking about our early years.  The Navy years.  Our young selves.  It struck me so hard then that those years feel so foreign.  So far removed from us now.  It was almost like telling them someone else's stories. 
 
Talking about those years reminded me(as if I needed reminding) that we have never really taken the easy road.  We kinda stacked the deck against us from the start.  Married at 19, baby at 20, moved far away from family.  Military life. Another baby 19 months later.  Those years were tough and I don't think that was an accident.  Trial by fire.  Would we make it?  I was a young single mom a lot of the time.  Would I survive it without resentment?  Chad was in a world he thrived in.  But it wasn't easy for us.  Those first years were so groundbreaking and foundation building.  We had many opportunities to choose to turn away from each other or turn towards each other.  Each time we fought the urge to turn away and instead turned in towards each other, I think we put one more brick on that foundation.  We didn't always, but we did more than we didn't and it's made all the difference.

Some of our days now are hard. And some are easy.  But most are a little of both.  I don't always like him and I know he doesn't always like me.  We laugh a lot. We fight some, we make up more.  I cry sometimes, he doesn't.  I fight resentment about some things.  He's good, if I'm good.  We dream.  He works so hard to fill our lives with what we need.  I'm shocked at times how much I need him.  It scares me.  Sometimes I'm shocked at how easily I can get on without him.  That scares me too.

I am absolutely certain that we haven't seen the hardest of life yet.  I don't think we get off that easy.  I don't think God is done with us yet.  I've seen Him refine Chad, refine me and He holds us together.  Sometimes by a thread, but we hold. 

It's been so much more good than bad.  We've got this dreamy life.  Not by grand standards, but by our standards.  Sometimes I forget that. There is so much about this life that rains beauty around us.  It's hard to imagine what else we'll encounter so I won't.  We'll just keep taking it day by day.  Tying that cord a little tighter around us and one of those days I'll turn around and we'll be another decade in and I'll remember us now and how young we were and how "unrefined" and hopefully I'll smile and laugh at how far we've come.

 
 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Summertime bullet points

*So far, summer has been blissfully dull save for one week where 4 kids were suppose to be in 3 different places at the same times and the occasional evening where Chad is working, I'm coaching and kids need to be at games.  Hasn't been too bad yet.

*The bigs wake up late, wander around, read books, take naps, go to the library, go swimming.  The littles follow suit for the most part.  We've had a few weekends of basketball for Elijah, T-ball for Caleb and baseball for Cory.  Autumn is doing summer dance and the 3 older ones are taking piano lessons.  Aside from that, they fend for themselves.  I do not "entertain" well.  "Go play" is my most used phrase in the summer.

*Autumn has a babysitting job this summer for her teacher's two sons.  She is loving making some money and she's a natural caretaker.  A play games, read books, make crafts, kind of babysitter.  That girl is organized and efficient.  She is clearly just like her mother. HA!

*The gym is going so well.  We steadily have at least 1 or 2 people in Foundations with a pretty good retention of members.  I so enjoy the community aspect of it!  We're hosting a fundraiser for school tuition for Mathou, Roby and Junior next Saturday and I'm super excited about that!

*I've had a recent rough stretch of reality checks.  Mostly about friendships and relationships.  Apparently I tend to be a bit more invested in people than they are in me. I realize I may not be the most consistent friend, but it still hurts sometimes when you realize they don't view you as the friend you thought you were.  C'est la vie.

*I'm somewhat sure I'm going to take a class or two this fall.  I'd like to get my PT assistant degree.  This is not the first time a degree has caught my attention, but this is one that has stuck around for awhile.  Long enough to make me seriously consider it anyway.  I'd like to start working on it for a lot of reasons.  One being, if we could ever have Chad just at the gym, I would need to be working.  Two, I think I would really like the actual day to day of it.  Three, it would be very helpful in our gym setting.  And four, I could really use that information and knowledge in Haiti.

*It's the 4th of July.  I love, love, love the festivities around this holiday.  BBQs, big fireworks(I hate spending $$ on the stupid firecracker stuff, but love the big shows), and most importantly the focus is should put back on what so many men and women have fought to retain.  Freedom!  Having lived that military life for a few years and having so many family members serve, we are acutely aware of how difficult that life can be.  It does come at a price and we are so grateful for those who have paid so we can live free.

*I think that's all.  I think I'm caught up for the most part. 
I never wrote an "anniversary" post last month.  13 years.  Seems like a lifetime.  We were talking with friends last night about some of our early married years and it was a lifetime ago.  Yet, such a huge part of who we are today.  I may need to write that anniversary post...It's a big deal that I still love that guy like crazy. 

Happy Independence Day!!