The best laid plans...

of mice and men often go awry.
Or from the actual poem...

The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,
Gang aft agley, --Robert Burns


I have learned over the years that planning is great and generally beneficial.  It is also, at times, completely useless.
Planning things does not make me feel more secure or less stressed.  Quite the opposite sometimes. I like vague plans and maybes.  I'm sure it drives people crazy.
I am, by nature, not a planner.  I understand that some are and I have actually a good bit of those people surrounding me.  My husband is one. Sort of.  I think I've wore him down a bit.  I birthed a planner, Autumn.  My mom and older sister are planners, although you wouldn't guess it by their easy-going attitudes.  Some of my closest friends are planners.  I think I gravitate towards these people because they are so weird.  Ha!  Kidding.  Sort of.
Well, guess what, folks?  I have a plan.  I hold out very little hope that I will hold to it, but I'm gonna give it a go.  I plan on completing an associate's degree in Physical Therapy assistance.  I'm enrolled in 2 classes for August.  Really one and the other is a week long prerequisite.  Nothing crazy, now.  I've got this plan in mind...it involves Chad running the gym and me working in a physical therapy office.  A few years from now.  Maybe 5 or so.  It sounds pretty good right now, but plans generally do until you try to execute them. 

I am certain that to most people who completed college or set out to do something and actually followed through with it, may not understand my angst with all this.  Planning out what I would like to do in 5 years or 2 years or tomorrow actually makes me quite anxious.  I don't like it.  What if I change my mind?  I don't want to come across as a flake. 
I just like the unknown.  The empty days.  The vague sense of what may happen rather then the certainty that something will.  I like sitting back and watching things unfold, not making them unfold.  Now, obviously, if I want to work in a physical therapy office, doing physical therapy, I will need a degree.  Hence, my plan.
A big part of my motivation in all this is actually Chad.  He just wants to run that gym full time.  There have only been a few short years of his life that he's had one job.  Except for those Navy years, his "secondary" job has been the one he was passionate about.  During school, it was football.  His first job was the Y, with his passion, football, on the side.  Now his job at Williams, with CrossFit on the side. I know it gets old for him.  So what if?  What if I can do something I like and he can do something he loves?  I can do that.  I think.
I imagine that if I do accomplish this task it will not be without stress, or tears, or questions.  It may be the one thing I will stick with.  Besides my husband...and kids...and family...and friends(at least the ones who agree we're friends)...and Haiti.  I'll stick with those people.  But this, this would be a new one. 
I wonder if I'll feel like that mouse in Burn's poem at some point...