Little changes

Update:
Went to the Verizon store and apparently, "downgrading" your phone still requires you to "upgrade" i.e pay money.  So in order to save money, I'd have to sell my phone for $400+ to pay it off and then buy a different phone.  So there ya go.

We came home from vacation and the next day I deactivated my Facebook.  Clearly this is not a monumental event, but for whatever reason in our current culture, it is.  
Today I'm going to "downgrade" from an Iphone to a basic phone. Again, not monumental, or at least shouldn't be.  But I'd be lying if I didn't say it feels like I'm giving up a part of what's necessary to exist. And that's exactly why I'm doing it.
Maybe you're not like me.  Maybe you don't pick up your phone all day long looking for something to occupy your brain.  Maybe you don't spend a good chunk of any given hour on Facebook, scrolling, scrolling, clicking, reading, assuming.  Maybe you don't look at your phone bill each month and choke and justify it and then realize there is no justification for spending $3000 a year on phones.  Maybe you don't rely on Facebook as a pseudo representation of your friends, but in reality you only actually speak to or see a handful in any given week.  Maybe you have actually talked to and called those friends whose pictures you like or comment on.  Maybe you're not like me.  I'm not a good Facebook friend.  I want to feel like I have something to tell you when I see you that I didn't post on Facebook for the world to see. I want to have a reason to call or visit because I don't already know everything that is going on.  I just want real.  And I'm not saying Facebook isn't "real" cause it can be, but it feels like a cop out on having and being friends.  There is no way I could be a real friend to my friends' list.  It's not possible.  So I decided I'd like to stop pretending I could be and focus on being a good friend to those I encounter every day.  I decided witnessing interactions on Facebook and assuming certain things or letting certain interactions bother me wasn't worth it in the grand scheme of life. I wanted to be "left alone" from the constant processing, constant pull to comment or like or see who commented or liked, or whatever is deemed good and right in Facebook land.  I needed to be alone.
And I have been "alone" with myself quite a bit these past weeks. Oh, I still disengage and scroll through Pinterest or Twitter or Instagram. So I'm not exactly standing on my soapbox about Facebook with any real dignity.  But, the information processing has slowed down. I've read books, which I haven't been able to do in awhile. Books had been too slow and cumbersome, compared to a scroll through Facebook.  I've just sat on the porch at times and thought thoughts.  Some deep and others not so deep.  I'm hoping my kids see me without my phone in my face all day long. Hoping.
I'd like to think it's for the better.  That I'm more present.  That I'm not looking for a distraction at every turn.  That I'm not privy to hundreds of other people's thoughts or opinions and that that is all ok.
So, with that little change, I hope it leads somewhere meaningful, but if not, that's ok too.