Fear factor

Do you remember that show?  
Fear Factor?  
Chad and I use to watch it all the time.  I remember telling him several times, he should go on it.  Basically, they took all the "big" fears that people have-bugs, snakes, water, heights, etc- and in any variety of circumstances made people face those fears for a time. 
It was so interesting to me.  Some people overcame really awful situations.  Others just couldn't go through with whatever it was they were tasked to do.
I don't have many deep, paralyzing fears.  I don't like bugs and snakes, per say, but I'm not afraid of them.  They don't cause me stress.  I don't mind heights too much.  Water, may be the one thing that gets me.  Treading water? Fine.  Going underwater for any length of time would do me in.  And I wonder why?  I don't think I ever had anything close to a drowning experience.  I love the ocean and pools and lakes.  But, being under the water makes me freak out a bit.
Those tangible fears we have are so real to the people who possess them.  What about the intangible fears?  Fearing the unknown? Fearing sickness? Or death? Or change?  Or failing?  Or succeeding?
I've mentioned it before, but I had a stretch of time this past year that was debilitating.  Anxiety, which was really fear, took over.  It took weeks to work through that and months to be able to look at it objectively.  What has struck me looking back and I'm so thankful to be looking back with a clear head, is that the fear took over despite any and all head knowledge of what was going on.  I was thankful more than a few times that I had people around me that could hear me and knew me well enough to help me recognize and decipher rational from irrational.  I am not a fearful person and I was becoming unrecognizable even to myself.  
Thankfully, time provides a beautiful sense of perspective.  I've grown much these past months.  I've learned to trust my instincts more.  To give myself and others more grace, because there is just never, ever too much grace.  I've learned to own where we are in our lives more. I've learned that anxiety is real and can be paralyzing.  I've learned to forgive more.  I've learned communicating only works if the person you're talking to hears you.  I've learned to never assume they hear you.  I've learned that I'm married to a man who doesn't want me to hide the dark places of my thoughts from him.  That he can and will sit with me there.  I've learned I have kids who can weather an enormous amount of "crazy mom." I've learned that I have friends. Really good friends who let me be sad or happy or scared without judgment.  And most importantly, I'm still learning that I have a gracious God, who despite a mountain of doubts and questions and fears, seems intent on making His presence known.
I still fear being underwater and I imagine I'll fear the intangible again, but I hope it doesn't hold.  I hope I have this same little army to weather it with me.  And I wonder if I faced the water, if it would be as fearful as I imagine it to be?