Friday

This day came with much expectation and a little bit of nerves.  We had our appointment with IBESR, the Haitian Immigration office, set for 10:00am.  We didn't really know what to expect from the appointment as far as what they would ask us.
The day started early at 530 with a cold shower, our dress clothes, coffee and kids getting ready for school.  We had to leave early because Josie had to drop her boys off at school on our way and the area around the IBESR office has terrible traffic.  We loaded up in the truck with the boys and a crew of neighborhood tag alongs in the back.  We talked about that a bit.  In the US, giving someone a ride that you see walking, is not common and often considered dangerous.  Although back in the day so hitch hiking, not as much.  In Haiti, they don't understand why you wouldn't ask someone from your neighborhood if they needed a ride.  Josie leaves for a particular part of PAP at this time all week, so if anyone needs to get to that area, they just hop in the back.  I love the kindness of it all.
We took a long, winding drive to drop the boys off at school and then on to IBESR.
Josie, always knowing the right thing to do, had us to the offices just after 8 when it's suppose to open.  The office itself was terribly run down, as is much of that area around the old palace.  We go in and up a few flights of stairs to a waiting area outside some offices. Roby was along as our translator and Amessanitha and Nickson would also be going into the interview with us.  Everyone was dressed so nicely!  I was anxious, but not nervous.  We have said and will say how important Roby has been in this whole process.  His kindness and love towards us and the kids has been such a gift.  I can't imagine going into that interview with a translator that didn't know us.  He put my heart at ease.

We didn't have to wait too long and were called back around 9:15 to the social worker's office.  I don't remember his name, but he had a really gentle vibe.  Not overly serious or harsh.  Just kind. The AC was running high in his office and it was quite chilly.  At one point, Amessanitha asked to turn it down because she was cold.

The interview itself was a bit of a blur.  All in French and Roby was just magic.  I don't know what he said, but I can't tell you how safe we felt with him translating what we said to the social worker.  We just knew that Roby knew us and knew our heart and would articulate that.  He asked us about our relationship, how we are as parents, asked us about each other's parenting styles, how we are as friends and family.  He asked about our bio kids and what they thought.  So many questions about how we felt at each stage of the process. Lots of how did you feel, which is totally my jam :-)  He explained it like if we were pregnant and the stages and I loved that bc I have told people just that.  It's like the longest pregnancy ever!

Chad was awesome.  I think together we were able to express how much this means to us and how much a part of our family they already are.  We didn't have to discuss knowing them all these years since he didn't bring it up.  We just kind avoided it.

He also asked the kids what they thought and if they understood.  At the end, he asked if we were satisfied and wanted to proceed.  We said, yes, as I choked back tears.  He said as far as they are concerned, Amessanitha and Nickson, are our children.  We can visit them, talk to them, anything.
Amessanitha asked why we were only able to stay one week and then how much longer before they can come back with us. He said 6-12 more months and no one liked that answer.

He then asked Josie to come back after we left the office.  I got a little nervous about how much he would ask about our relationship. She came out and said it was all ok.  He had asked about us and the children and if she had any doubts about the match.  She had none.

Then we ran some errands and spent the day together.  It was my favorite day. We stopped for a meal at a cafe next to the supermarket and had pizza and sandwiches.  We went through the supermarket and picked up some coffee and tea and limonade to take home for the boys.  Something seemed to shift with us and the kids after the meeting.  They were less shy, more engaging. They had heard everything we had said and were asked so maybe it became more real for them too.  That we had wanted them and loved them so much all this time.
We went and picked up Josie's boys from school and headed home. Once we made it back, Chad and I went to changed and I let myself cry into his shoulder for a bit. It was such a big moment and I needed to feel it.  I don't know if I can ever fully explain how much they have always felt like ours, but this pushed that even farther.  Someone else said they are ours also.  Someone else knows them as our children.  They are our children.  Now we just need the countries to let us be together.

We rested a bit while the kids did homework, then dinner, rest again, bible study and they finished up their homework.  So much homework.  Because of the shut down of schools at the beginning of the year, the kids were now going to school on Saturdays to make up for it.  WE did play Jenga and Uno and I played some farkle with Dania.  We gave the kids and Syl their gifts of chocolate and the soccer ball also that night.  Sweet Josie was so worn out, she fell asleep on the cot and we played til about 940.  We told everyone to head to bed at that point and felt rather parental :-) Nickson was watching a show on the laptop and we had to tell him no more. It was maybe the first time that week that we established ourselves as parents.  It was an odd dynamic.

This day was meaningful and deep for another reason.  Leonard was shot that day 3 years prior.  Roby and I spoke of him often that week and that day in particular.  He will sit heavy in all my Haiti memories.  He did this trip in particular.  He would have been so happy for us.

All these layers and days and emotions are hard to process sometimes. I'm 2 months out from this day and just now writing about it.  I carry with me every day the pain of separation and anticipation.  It never goes away.

Our last full day in Haiti coming up...