This was in many ways the best day and the worst day of the week. It was our final full day in Haiti and I journaled that day that I hated even writing that let alone living it. Knowing we were leaving so soon left us clinging to each moment.
The kids went to school that morning so Chad and I had a slow morning again finishing the puzzle we had started that week before going down for breakfast. Even those moments we just settled in to. It was more time together one on one that we had spent together in probably 20 years. We both really enjoyed it. We had a mango which are the absolute best in Haiti. Then Syl had us come outside and showed us how she was making chakas(sp?) which is a boiled plantain and made into a soup like consistency. It was served warm with bread and it was quite good. I was not feeling very well this morning and my burn had taken on a bright, red infected look so after I did an aloe treatment, I slathered with antibiotic ointment and laid down. Nickson was the only one home this morning so he and Chad spent time together doing a puzzle while I rested. Once I got up, the girls were home and then the real fun started! Dania and I worked on a puzzle while Amessanitha and Chad worked on one. It turned into a bit of a race which was kinda fun.
Syl was making our manba so we helped sort peanuts. Originally, we didn't know what she was working on and the peanuts were red and looked like beans so I thought we were helping with dinner prep. After we crushed them, we realized what we were helping with! The whole process was awesome. We sorted out the bad ones, Syl roasted them, we crushed them, Syl flipped them in a big basket so the layers would fly away, we sorted them again and then she took them to be cooked down. Chad was helping too which she thought was quite funny since I don't think men generally help in the kitchen! The kids were all helping with it all too and we just all spent those hours together working. I loved it.
She also showed us how she was making jou mou soup, which is the traditional Independence Day soup in Haiti. It was so delicious! Maybe my favorite thing all week! Cremas was also getting made at this time which required Syl to crack coconuts, the kids pulled the meat from the shell, and then they spent HOURS shredding it! Josie and the boys got home around this time and helped.
Once the shredding was done, Josie took the meat of it and put it into a cloth and squeezed the milk out!. Then sugar, evaporated milk, sweetened condensed mil, 95% alcohol(which Josie had checked to make sure didn't have ethanol in it!) and lime juice and zest were added to the bucket! Stir, taste, stir, taste. All without modern conveniences like a can opener, or mixer or anything! We were able to get the manba and cremas home to share with people!
That evening, we decided to go see our friend, Jacky, for a little bit. She is one of Josie's closest friends and has been so supportive of the orphanage and Josie over the years. She didn't live far away and we wanted to just go say hi. As we were getting ready to leave, Amessanitha asked how long we would be gone. I immediately questioned if we should go. It was a swirl of emotions and if I could do it over, I don't know that I would have gone. As we drove away, I was feeling just enormous guilt. It was a moment looking back that I think I felt an instinct and went against that instinct. Nothing happened. It wasn't an awful decision, but it wasn't one I would make again. We were gone about an hour and it was nice to see Jacky and visit, but we should have stayed back with the kids.
Once we got back, we asked Josie to translate for us so we could talk to the kids about our leaving the next day. We didn't want to say big goodbyes at church or the airport. It was a gut-wrenching conversation. We told them we had to leave the next day. We told them we loved them before, but this week with them just made us love them even more. Amessanitha was completely dejected, with head down, tears streaming. We spent the next 45 minutes on the couch, close, hugging as we both cried. I used an app to communicate words some. The emotions didn't need any app. We all felt it. The sadness and grief in saying goodbye. It's still hard to talk about even today. We talked about maybe when we could come back. When we thought we would come get them for good. We told her we wanted her to be happy and enjoy school. That we loved her so much. Nickson reacted a little differently and how we expected. He understands whats going on, but I don't think has had the years of understanding and anticipating that Amessanitha has had. He was concerned about her and how upset she was. He and Chad played Jenga and games on his phone while Amessanitha and I cried and talked. After awhile, I asked her if she was ok and if she was ready to go to sleep for the night. She said yes and walked over to Josie in tears. I sat back and watched in awe with still more tears. They have such a beautiful relationship. I cried for Josie then. I have so many thoughts and feelings there for them. I don't know if I'll ever fully be able to express them.
We had devotions and good nights. More tears and hugs. I was so overwhelmed with how traumatic this all for for everyone. I hated this part. Who leaves their kids? They are our children and the next day, we would just board a plane, not knowing when we would return. I really struggled with that.
Sunday we woke up, got ready for church and headed out. We stayed close to the kids all morning. As soon as church was over, the kids, Josie and Chad and I got into the truck and headed to the airport. Josie had A and N come into the airport with us while we checked our bags and she parked. It was brilliant on her part. They had never been in the airport before and the next time they probably would be is when we come get them for good. Now at least they have seen a little of that first process. We walked to security and again said our goodbyes quietly. Tight hugs and promises to video call each week.
Our flight ended up being delayed a few hours out which was frustrating since we could have been with them longer. At that point, we both felt I think that we wanted to get home and hurry up the next part.
Home again, next...
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