Notebooks

I heard a great idea the other day from a friend in my Bible study to have a notebook for each of your children that you can write back and forth to each other in.

Sounded nice. Very nostalgic. Years from now, I can look back in those notebooks and see what wonderful things we wrote to each other.

So I went out and let each of the kids pick out a fun notebook, explained the whole thing to the 2 oldest and away we go...

It was all going well for a week or so...I'd write something about how much I love them and they would write back that yeah, they love me too and "Can we go swimming? Can I go to a friend's house? Can we go get ice cream?"

Not exactly what I had in mind, but we're just getting started...

So today, my oldest had a full blown 100% complete and total meltdown. This has happened a few times in the past and it's never pleasant and usually has residual effects for days. Those effects being mostly that he doesn't like me and thinks I don't care about him.

So today, as other times, it's something pretty ridiculous that sets him off. His sister was annoying him. Shocker, I know. She is actually very annoying to her brothers.

So, it started...meltdown, talking, crying, more talking, more crying. All this usually ends with him telling me that he feels like no one cares about him, at which point, my heart breaks a little.
Today, though, I thought, "Well, lets try this notebook thing." I wasn't getting anywhere with the whole talking thing.

I told him to go write in the notebook whatever it was he was feeling and I would write him back...

This is what he wrote..."I hate you!!!!! I don't won't to live with you. I wish I never did live with you."

Yep, mother of the year award, right here. I can rationalize that he doesn't REALLY mean it. He really DOES love me. Deep down. It's just REALLY deep down right now. It's a problem. I don't know what to do.

Not something you want to hear from your sweet, loveable son. See the thing is, I know there are alot of things that get him to the point where he feels like that and I'm not very good about noticing them before it gets too bad. He gets tired, bored, tired, annoyed, really annoyed, ANGRY, and then it's all over.

If I can catch him before angry, we can usually defuse it.
I didn't today.
It sucked.
I think we'll keep doing the notebooks...