Idealist Champion

I had a perfect weekend in Omaha.  I spent time with some of my siblings which is always so grounding and comforting.  I talk somewhat often to my sisters, but I don't regularly talk with my brothers.  We chat occasionally or never and see each other when we see each other.  That being said, it always just feels normal around them.  I feel like me. 
I spent a bit of time chatting with my sister-in-law who may be the most chill, calming presence walking this Earth and we started talking about personalities, as this is a favorite topic of hers.  She mentioned the Keirsey personality test, which I know I have taken in the past, but couldn't recall what my results were.  Anyway, the past few weeks and months have been particularly taxing and it was great to talk about maybe why I am the way I am, which could explain a bit about why I've been stressed, but without really recognizing it as such.

So, long story short, I retook the Keirsey test and light bulbs flipped on above my head and a lot of nodding took place as I read through my personality. 
Here is the link for the description of my personality.  http://keirsey.com/4temps/champion.asp
You can register and take the test yourself from there if you've never taken or want to take it again.  You might find out some interesting things about yourself!
I am an Idealist Champion (ENFP), which is apparently quite rare.  3-4% of the population share this.  Something interesting??  Both my sister, Grace and my brother, Jake are the same.  Could be why I feel so at home with them!  We speak each other's personality language! 
It may also be why I often feel alone in my thoughts.  I am truly an idealist to the core.  I believe people have a huge capacity for good.  I think any situation can be a positive one.  I often wish people would see the world through a bigger lens.  One that is covered with compassion and mercy.
My thoughts are more often than not consumed by people.  My inner dialogue is laced with thoughts and prayers for people.  People I saw today or someone I was close with 20 years ago all have a hold.  If at one time, you and I were close friends, I would venture to guess I think of you every single day.  I semi-joked with Chad that I should write down each person I think of in a day.  It would take up pages.  I do not know why I'm wired this way.  I carry people around in my mind.  I invest in them emotionally without them ever knowing.  I am thankful for this in many ways, as it keeps my mind busy with what I am sure is more valuable than what I would think about otherwise.  But, it can be exhausting.  Especially when I don't feel like I have enough time to draw some strength and build my reserves.
I find this all very interesting at almost 33, to feel like I'm still figuring myself out.  I wonder what I'll learn at 43? Or 53?



 

Running away

I have, over the years, had the urge to run away.  There are times that it all just feels too heavy.  And somehow running away seems like the only way to lighten the load.  There were many, many times I couldn't run away.  I had to stand and face it all.  My failures and heartaches, my loneliness in the chaos, my fears and insecurities.  And I'm thankful for those times because they were faith-shaping and skin-thickening and mind-stretching. 

Tomorrow, though, I'm running.  Cause I can.  My little sister is just a few short hours away and it is a safe haven if ever there was one.  I will unload some mental baggage and drink plenty of wine and figure out all the world's problems, at least for a time.

I expect to come back with just as much to do and more, but hopefully with some margin, emotionally.  The crazy schedule really is holding out well and I haven't felt too overwhelmed with that yet.  It just doesn't leave me with a whole lot of space to fail.  And I do fail and it's hard.  I need a moment to buffer it all a bit and Grace (there is not another name that would suit her more) is waiting with open arms.

Homeschooling a 7th grader

I don't know how other people homeschool.  It's one of those great mysteries.  I've talked to other homeschoolers and it seems some other people may have similar experiences, but there is really no way to know since I'm not there.
I suppose it depends on the primary teacher, the students, the schedules.  I happen to love our "schedule"  which consists of no schedule at all.  Elijah has proved to be extremely efficient when he wants to be. 
Meaning he did a weeks worth of school yesterday.  Took him about 7 hours.  I mentioned that I think he needs to work at least 3 days a week in some capacity cause it just seems wrong to do school one day a week.  Or he needs to find a job.
He kinda grinned and said ok. "Maybe I can get 2 or 3 weeks worth done in a few days."
Its possible this relaxed, breezy schedule will get old for him at some point.  We'll deal with that when it comes.