Vision is a fascinating thing. How we see matters. What we see matters. Who we see matters.
I'm most intrigued by the how lately. Two situations can occur that are so similar, but how you see them can be the difference between peace and discord, between pain and acceptance, between reality and fabrication.
I'm on the hunt, on a mission, to see better. To not cast aside a conversation, an experience, a person, a situation without really seeing it through all the angles. In this, I hope I can see myself a little better too. There has been some time spent in my past trying to hide behind various circumstances, people, titles, jobs, emotions. I'd like to see those again. Maybe I will see them differently.
What's going on that you could possibly see differently? Who did you encounter that just needs someone to really see them?
1. Its cold outside.
2. I'm not really sure why I need to go on, but I will.
3. I'm cold. All the time. Well, scratch that. I'm not cold when I'm curled up in bed with 3 blankets on top of me and I'm not cold in a skin-melting steamy hot bathtub. Otherwise I'm cold.
4. Cold makes me grumpy. It makes me suspicious of people who are happy in the winter. Like they don't have nerve endings that sense cold. Or it makes me jealous of them cause they seem to be able to feel their fingers and toes.
5. I have to wear a lot of clothes to function. For example, right now I have on 2 shirts, 1 sweatshirt, leggings, socks, boots and a stocking hat. And I'm inside my house. And I'm cold. I don't even like shoes. Or clothes for that matter. I could be a nudist. So winter sucks.
6. Imagine all the things you can accomplish in life from under a pile of blankets or in a hot bath. It's not much so I shiver my way through the days. And shivering is hard work.
7. Cars need "warming up." I find this particularly cruel. So I have to go outside to start my cold car in order to go outside in 10 minutes to get in my slightly less cold car to drive it? Yes, yes, I know there is remote start, but really? Putting a remote start in a 9 year old beat up Ford Freestyle that is heaving it's last breaths(PLEASE DIE) seems a bit ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as taking the time to "warm it up."
8. My car is horrifically dirty on the inside(and outside) during the winter because it's too cold to spend 10 minutes to clean out all the garbage/toys/french fries/socks/shoes/small children/etc. that have been left in the car since October.
9. Short days. My body doesn't really function well before 10 AM and with the sun going down early, it starts to think about bed around 5:00 PM. That's not a whole lot of time to take hot bathes and lay in my bed under the covers while imagining all the things I should be doing, like feeding my children, or educating them.
10. Coffee consumption takes on a whole life of it's own. Now this could be taken as a reason winter is awesome cause coffee is awesome, but no one likes that jittery, heart-racing coffee OD feeling. But it's cold and when it's cold, I want hot coffee. Lots of it.
The following is shared in the hopes that you don't think I'm some Debbie Downer...(which I kind of am, but only from Nov-March).
3 reasons why winter can be tolerated...
1. I can't really think of one.
2. Ok, fine. Boots. Boots are cute. I would argue they are just as cute when worn in 50+ degree weather, but I suppose they are a little cuter if there is snow on the ground or something.
3. Sweaters. I really do like sweaters. I like them even more when I have to pack them away each spring.
That's all I got, folks!
It took some convincing to get Caleb out the door this morning...and maybe some raised voices. He said it is the worst day ever and "this" (I'm still not sure what he meant by "this") was why he didn't want to go to school.
Thankfully, his little school is a 15 minute drive away. It took about 7 of those minutes before he stopped talking about how much he didn't want to go. The following minutes were about the refinery's smoke colors and the final minute, he said, "I wonder what I'll get to do today." I walked him inside to the gym for opening and he walked up beside his teacher and started in on the singing and motions. It was sweet to see him with his coat and backpack joining in with the other kids. I have no idea what he will say about today or if tomorrow will be as tough to get him out the door. I drove away today though and really felt like this is a good place for him. I hope he sees that too.
