The first precious steps

As I've said before, coming back from Haiti this time we knew we were ready to start the adoption.  House of Love and Hope was licensed and after talking with Josie some more, it felt like it was time. 
We were excited to say the least.  The week I got back I looked through a few of the agencies that do Haitian adoptions and emailed a couple about working with Josie.  At the time, our understanding was that agencies still worked directly with orphanages.  We soon found this to not be the case.  I talked with several agencies and they all said the same thing.  The Haitian government now does all the referrals and there is no more direct involvement between agencies and orphanages.  This was good in one regard, because HOLH is new to the system so they don't have a history with an agency that now had to severed.  We also found out that because we want to adopt older siblings that we can request them specifically.  We were thinking that we would be able to request the orphanage, but not the children.  Not sure if that is all in our favor or not, but we are hopeful.  Medical special needs, children over 6 and siblings all fall under a "special needs" category of children that they allow requests for.  This does not mean they will honor that request, but it feels like a chance!  
The agency that I thought we would want to work with was the first to get back to me.  They were wonderful and kind and we decided to apply through them without really looking at other agencies.  Lesson learned #1.  Ask more questions.  We did the application which was quite extensive, paid the fee and waited.  We were contacted in a few days and they said they had some concerns with our income.  Don't we all ;-).  We are well above the income requirements for both the US and Haiti, but for some reason they were hesitant and eluded to wanting us to take some more time and work on that.  We also found out that they had a waiting list to submit dossiers.  I assumed (Lesson #2: Don't assumer) that since they were taking applications they had dossier openings.  Those two factors made us decide to look at other agencies.  The way it works now is each agency gets 1 dossier submission each month and 5 special needs/year.  So some agencies have all those available or several available or you are on a waiting list to submit your dossier.  We didn't want to wait any longer so I found all the agencies that had immediate openings and went from there.  It was frustrating to feel like we made a mistake right off the bat, but I'll take all the lessons I need to get this right.  After talking extensively with 4 different agencies, I had a solid morning of panic.  They were on paper all great.  Pros/Cons all ended in a draw. I didn't want to mess this up.  It felt big.
After a text convo with some friends, I felt much better.  Funny how that works!  Reminders came in...Go with your gut. God is going to use whoever you choose.  And others.  I had been leaning towards one more than the others and it was simply because they were a pilot program.  Initially that felt like not a good thing.  Haiti is complicated and has a history of corruption.  Did we want to work with someone who didn't have a long history in the country?  
With the change in laws, we concluded that we did.  So I took a few deep breaths, cried a few more tears and applied to MLJ Adoptions on a Friday.  Monday morning we found out we were accepted and we were off and running.  Agreements, contracts, fee sheets all came through email.  
The home study is the first big hurdle and I met with an agency on Monday out of Overland Park that will do it for us.  The stack of papers I'm currently sifting through is manageable and we hope to get the dossier all done and ready by the end of the summer.  
Honestly, it all feels right and good.  I'm impatient and anxious sometimes, but mostly I just feel at peace.  My heart aches to know who our referrals will be.  I want to get all this paperwork out of my hands and into the Haitian governments so we can know that as soon as possible.  Patience has always been the name of this game.
We have several fundraisers in the works.  There will be big chunks of money required at different stages.  Those are the scary ones.  $6100 here.  $3000 there, $12000 here.   Our first big event will be Raise the Bar for Haiti in May.  We love doing events and this one is always really meaningful to us.  This year maybe more than ever.
Sometimes I stop the paperwork and just sit and stare out the window in awe.  We have talked about doing this for years.
It feels surreal.  
We're doing it.  
For real.