Becoming a mother

Something spectacular happened last week.  

A mother was born.  
Our friends had asked me to be their "birth coach" for their first baby together.  
I, of course, said yes, because there are few things that are as miraculous as birth and the chance to be with my friends during delivery was too special to turn down. I quickly assured them that even though I've had 4 babies, a professional, I am not. But I would, however, be their biggest cheerleader and do my very best to keep everyone calm and peaceful.  They seemed to think this was good enough!
The idea of it did make me somewhat nervous.  Not from a birthing standpoint.  I am comfortable in that space, thanks to my midwife momma.  I was more concerned about being a good, yet untrained, support system for them.  Birth is predictable in many ways, but there will always be the unknowns.  Having a positive birth experience means so much in terms of how you view babies and birth and mothering, I think.  Jen wanted to have the baby naturally and we talked a lot about that and some of the things about labor and delivery that I knew(which was not an extensive list, by any means).

So Monday morning rolled around and Jen was set to have her water broke to see if labor would start on it's own and it did!  The morning went quietly.  Each contraction, Jen closed her eyes, laid her head back and breathed.  

Jerry and I sat and watched mostly. She was very "internal" during each contraction.  We got up and walked the halls for a bit just to have something else to do and help him drop some more.  Soon after, though, as the contractions intensified, we could tell they getting more difficult for Jen to manage.  What I wish we had talked about before labor(and if I were doula-trained, I'm sure we would have), was fear.  I could see it as it was happened, but was not prepared for it and neither was she.  There is a time during labor, that the pain of the contractions are scary bad.  They are close and long in duration and so painful. Fear easily creeps in and we start saying to ourselves that we can't do this any longer.  It feels like more than we can bear.
She decided to get an epidural around 6 cm.  I know that wasn't an easy decision for her, but she did what she thought was best at the time and at that moment, my job was support.   
Her demeanor changed almost immediately once the epidural set in.  The fear (and pain) went away.  A short hour later, the doctor came in on her lunch break to check her and it was time to push. A short 10 minutes later, Dax was here!  I was really just in awe of Jen and Jerry and the whole thing. She labored really so beautifully and peacefully.  Being on this side of labor was inspiring.  It was so incredible and moving and beautiful and not something I will ever forget. 

I really learned so much that day.  You could see labor and delivery through the eyes of pain and mess and noise and fear.  I just can't see it that way, though.  It's too amazing to just pass off as all those things and not also see the beauty in watching a woman become a mother this way and a baby takes it's first breathes and a father see his son for this first time.  Miraculous.  All of it.

So, I could totally be a doula for a living.  After as I drove home, I called my midwife momma and talked about it.  I thought about the gift she gave me to be able to see birth as something beautiful and normal.  I will always be grateful to Jen and Jerry for asking me to be there for their day!