Teenager

The conversation went late into the night.  From my perspective, as a mom of this teenager, it was surreal.  It was such a "grown up" conversation.  I was simultaneously remembering the really tough early years.  The sleep depravation like never before that he introduced to my 20 year old self and imagining his future so full.
He's in the gap.  This growing gap, moving farther and farther away from a mom that needs him to keep a schedule for him, clean his clothes, and remind him to brush his teeth and more and more towards needing a mom that listens to his dreams, encourages him to keep being a good friend, teases him about girls and reminds him they really can just be his friends and he doesn't have to bow to peer pressures.
It was so hard to leave him this time because of that conversation.  The transition to boarding school was hard for him.  He cried some tears and he wasn't ashamed to tell me that.  It hurt to know that, but I saw a strength and resolve in him through that.  He said he is thankful for the friendships he is building.  He understands now why we wanted him to give it a try.
I hated leaving him this time not because I felt like he needed me, but because I so badly wanted to be around him longer.  He is navigating relationships that aren't always easy and he's doing it well. He is navigating classes and schedules and practices without me to remind him of times or assignments and he is doing it well.  He is learning that your heart and home can very much be in two places equally.  He loves it there and misses us terribly.  He is learning to live in tension and from experience, I recognize the importance of that skill.  He is being reminded daily that this tension is ok, because ultimately this life is lived for Christ and for others and that so often asks from us more than we want to give.
I am so proud of him.  And I know he is a beautiful example of grace in parenting.  We have been given much grace and pray for much, much more as the years go on.