Why Haiti?

Good question.  I have a lot more.
Why do I love this place like it's mine? 
Why does it feel so normal to be there?
What does it make me realize about my life and circumstances?
What kind of perspective can a country of such contrast give?
What can I offer my friends there?
What can they teach me about life and faith and love?
Why do I feel a responsibility to these friends and these children to learn more, grow more and understand more and share their stories?

The easy answer is I don't know. 
The real answer is fluid and vague.
So much of this is distinctly outside my understanding.  I can speculate as to why Haiti.  It's a country I grew up hearing about.  I met Thomas and Israel and Pastor Louis and his wife as a child.  I remember those moments, but I was young and it wasn't terribly monumental at the time.
Haiti has always intrigued me and even more so after the earthquake.  But that horrific event put Haiti on the map for a lot of people so that's not terribly surprising.
What has surprised me is the ownership I feel for the well-being of my Haitian friends and the desire to make that circle of friends grow.
I have gained so much from just two trips.  The truth is that these trips have made me evaluate my life, but maybe not in the way you may expect.  It has not made me look at my life and say, "I'm so thankful I have..." or "I'm so glad we don't have to deal with..."  It has also not made me think, "I'm so lucky because.." or "I have this life because I did..."
Maybe that's ungrateful.  I don't really know.  What it has made me think is I want less.  Less distractions.  We, as society, spend a sickening amount of time and resources on maintenance.  We have to maintain our cars and our homes and our electronics and our clothing and our...everything.  Here's the thing though.  People in Haiti do the same thing.  It's not that I look at their lifestyles and think we're so vastly different.  We're really not.  That has been a profound realization for me.  We are powerfully, amazingly similar!  We fight the same things, only separated by degrees.
One of the reasons I enjoy being there so much is that it's easier for me to zero in on the relationships.  I don't have the distraction of all my "stuff."
It's the balance I'm after here at home.  Putting the value into what matters.  People, relationships, faith, communities.  And I believe it's the balance that all of humanity is after.  It's that steady feeling of contentment and peace we all want.  I feel that so deeply in Haiti and after this last trip, my focus is working to create that here as well.
Haiti makes me a better parent.  A better friend.  A better stranger.
It makes me look at my life and circumstances and zero in on the little faces in front of me, the husband who loves me, the family, friends and people who I cross paths with. 
It does not make me perfect.  Don't fall over in your chair with that revelation.
I battle the desire for more "me time", more clothes, nicer cars, better "stuff".  I struggle with being horribly impatient with my kids and husband.  I fight to bite my tongue when all I really want to do is let loose.  I fail miserably every day.
It's work to want to be better.  It's difficult to experience a place like Haiti with poverty so much the part of every day life.  It's painful to hear the stories of lose and abandonment.  It's beautiful to see the joys and smiles.  It is worth every good and bad moment to delve into these people and this place.  They have much to teach us.
It is a place of contrast and I may never answer all my questions, but it is a place I consider my "other" home.