One step at a time.

Breaking down Haiti into little bites seems less overwhelming then to try to explain a week of profound experience in one shot.
The going and the leaving are oddly the hardest parts for me.  Both mean I abandon one place I love for another place I love.  My family. Chad. My life here. Haiti. My friends there.  My family there. I truly love them all.  Going to Haiti is exciting, intoxicating, difficult and easy.  It has taken 3 flights to get there and back both times and I've noticed a very distinct mental shift through those flights.
My first step away from home is so hard.  Always my family is cared for and I love that, but this trip in particular felt very selfish as I left.  The logistics were complicated and people sacrificed for me beyond what I had planned.  I let them, but it was not easy.  That first flight is filled with thoughts of home, the kids, Chad, my mom and whoever else was taking my place for the week.  The second flight is a mix of my family at home and my undeniable love for Haiti and my friends there.  And the third flight is all Haiti.  Heart pounding excitement. Visions of streets and faces and hugs and Creole words.  As we touched down, tears welled up and the song "I'm coming home." repeated in my head.
The week of course went so quickly and I'll work through those days and write more.  But always the low point is leaving.  As we said goodbye Wednesday morning to our new friends from the team and Leonard and Pierre and Gertrude and Rosie, all I can think about is how quickly can I come back. 
As our plane picked up speed the voice in my head repeated over and over, "No, No, No."  I hate leaving Haiti.  This time was harder because I know we have 2 children there.  If those children ever come to live with us, I do not know.  I can only pray that we are able to love and care for them there or at some point in our home.  It's not popular to ugly cry on an airplane so I kept it in check, but it wasn't easy.
And so the transition began.  All Haiti that first flight.  New faces and places, plans to find out more adoption-wise, plans to come back. Second flight is flashes of home, Elijah, Autumn, Cory, Caleb, Chad, the gym, friends, and back to Haiti, Mintha, Nixon, Josie, the orphanage. 
Last flight and drive is all home.  My bed, my shower, clean clothes, smooth roads.  And still thoughts of how strange it feels to love a foreign place so deeply, to love it's children like my own and wanting so fervently to love on it's brokenhearted. 
I'm home now and I'll return to my other home again.