Mommas

I spent much of yesterday mentally jumping from my own babies, to my mom, to all the friends who are such incredible mommas, to friends who struggle through this day.

Mother's Day can be full of fun and joy and thankfulness, but it can also be wrought with emotions for many.  Dear women who long for their first baby or another baby or a lost baby are reminded of what they don't have.  Friends whose mothers have passed away and they have to walk this day without their mom to thank or send a card to or call.  Or mothers and daughters who have strained relationships.  They must hurt on this day.  I think about them.

I look at my friends and my mom and sisters and sister-in-laws and I'm in awe of the mothers I am surrounded by.  They are doing good, hard work.  Putting time and energy and thought into raising little ones into big ones who can navigate this world with confidence and grace.  It's no small task.

I remember this mom of mere hours. Taking a very tiny Elijah home.  

I remember this baby girl and the joy and turmoil the year after she arrived.  

I still struggle with that time and wish I could go back and remind that momma to stare at those baby girl eyes a little longer.  To tell her that that baby girl would help to save her in many ways.

Life trucks on and some things change and some things stay the same.  

These two.  Still the best of friends.

Our Cory Luke came along when many would say was not the best timing. Chad was a college student/football assistant and I was staying at home.  2 bedroom apartment.  No room for a baby.
Living on a prayer and a few bucks.  We soon realized it was the best timing.
Chocolate eyes and serious chub made him so easy to love.  

Sweet memories.

I felt like we were missing something or someone.  I'd have these moments with the three and feel like I was forgetting someone.
Turns out we were missing this guy.
Our chubby bubby was always shaking things up.  And still is.  And I don't want to imagine a world that he's not putting his mark on.

They grow up.  And I grew up.  I'm still growing up.  People often talk about what mothers do for their children and I just see what they do for me.  They have made me grow and change and shift and mold into a different person.  Each one changes me in their own way.  They make me see the world differently.  They have opened my eyes to much that had been unseen.  I hope they know that.

 And on Mother's Day and every day, I think of them.  The ones that are not yet ours.  That I dream about and pray about and hope for.  That I long to tuck in at night and whisper to them "I love you."

 Mothers' Day is not as simple as it may seem.  It is so many things for so many people.  So hugs to you my momma, for setting such a powerful example.  Cheers my momma friends who dig in with tantrums and sickness and challenges and sweetness and joy!  Prayers to you who struggle through remembering your own mother or fight the emotions of a lost baby or baby not yet known.   You're remembered on this day too.