How you say things. What you say. Who you say them to. They carry weight.
They can hurt so badly or heal so powerfully. They can carry grace and forgiveness, mercy and love. Or they can damage and destroy. Damage relationships. Destroy friendships. Make people question your integrity and character. When emotions are high and stress is pressing, choose your words carefully. You can't take them back once they are spoken. Speak words of truth. We all need people we can let loose a bit with our emotions. Safe places. That doesn't mean its a free for all, but it does mean you know these people know you and know your heart.
Moving through life, developing relationships with people is hard work. The characteristic I have found myself most drawn to are those who are thoughtful speakers and gracious listeners. And they carry with them a huge capacity for forgiveness. They are not ones who talk just to talk. They talk with purpose. With positivity. With grace.
I strive to speak in the same manner. What I've found is that what is often the best thing to say is nothing at all. This is a practice in willpower and patience because when we feel attacked I think our initial response is to fight back...with words. We want to defend ourselves. Make wrongs right. We want to make sure we're heard.
My struggle is always with myself. Knowing words are being spoken about you and choosing to let them be said without your voice included is hard. I just so firmly believe that actions speak louder than words and my hope is always that my actions are loud enough. Engaging in verbal banter does so little to promote a cause. And so I choose to let the words swirl around me and turn my ears elsewhere. I will focus in on the people who speak well of each other and lift each other up. I will spend my time speaking well of others. I will continue to fight that inner battle. To give grace over and over again.
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