Well that changes things,

but not really.
There are few things I have anticipated more these past few years than finding out we can start the adoption process and maybe, just maybe adopt from House of Love and Hope.  
We could have started it years ago, but we want to adopt from there.  Or at least have a shot at adopting from there.  All along we knew we may not be able to, but we wanted to wait until they were licensed to start so we had a chance.  
At the time, we understood the laws to be that we would have to have Josie work with a US agency and then we would apply through that agency and request HOLH.  So we waited for that process of licensing to work itself out in Haiti.  We helped where we could, but it was all on them to get that done.  And she did it! In December we heard they had their license and I could start looking for an agency to work with them.
I looked through the approved adoption providers and emailed a few last week.  I heard back from two and a few days ago talked to a wonderfully, kind woman, Meredith.  She informed us that, in fact, agencies and orphanages are no longer allowed to work together.  The Haitian adoption department makes matches from the entire pool of adoptable orphans when dossier come in.
Essentially, we could apply TODAY and begin the process.  
Good news! Right??
Yes, but with it comes an avalanche of fear and questions.  We have children we would like to adopt.  We know we can't choose them.  We know the Haitian government makes matches and we now know that agencies and orphanages don't even work together. We know that we may very well get matched with children that are not from HOLH.  
The way it is now is that because we want siblings and older siblings at that, we can request specific children, but we don't know if they will honor that request or not.  
So many questions.
What if they match us with other siblings?  Do we go with that match?  What if the children from HOLH get adopted to someone else in the process?  What if... What if...What if...
I have had an amazing sense of peace throughout these past years. I haven't felt like we needed to rush or panic or anything.  I want to have that peace throughout, but it is hard to hold right now.  
So I'm heading to Haiti, by God's grace, on Tuesday and I will visit with Josie.  When I get back, Chad and I will apply to an agency and "officially" start this process.  We're going to continue hanging on to trust and hope that God has this already planned out for us. Some times I'm sure with every fiber of our being.