To have or not to have...

Have I mentioned lately that I love working in a coffee house.  It brings with it so interesting people and conversations. 
Joan and I often joke about writing a book.
And it's not just idle chitchat amongst myself and some of the regulars. 
I've most recently gotten into a conversation with one customer whom I would consider a friend, at this point, about having children and all that goes along with that.  Without giving too much information about this friend, we are debating the idea of having children as a Christian and whether that is something that we are called to do and what makes some choose to not have any at all.
It's always interesting to me to hear why people who are able to have children choose not to venture down that path. 
I try not to judge their motives or reasoning because I've probably thought many of the same thoughts myself.  The rationales range from self-proclaimed selfishness, to just not having any desire to have that experience. 
Having a child heightens the false sense that we have control over our time and efforts.  We no longer answer for only ourselves.  Our time is not our own, our resources are not our own, our efforts and choices now directly affect the course of another little person's life. 
It's big stuff.  It can be scary stuff. 
As I told my friend, though, there will be nothing else that can compare to the emotions involved in raising a child.  I truly believe if your desire is to grow as a human, as a Christian, as a citizen of this world, there is NOTHING that will do that like raising a child.  In the darkest, most frustrating and sleep-deprived moments is where you will grow the most, believe the most, trust the most. 
Will you grow anyway?
Of course, but I don't think you will touch the depths of what this life offers without experiencing some of the emotions and choices that come along with raising a child.
I held my little guy the other day while he was sleeping and thought what a gift it was.  He never stops moving or talking when he's awake.  He has kept me sleep-deprived for almost 3 years now and I would take another 3 years of it to be able to hold him for those few, quiet moments.
I am hard-pressed to find anything else in this world that can compare to that sense of peace, thankfulness and joy.