Tonight, it starts.

Our own little social experiment.
I recently read 7 by Jen Hatmaker.
Tonight, a group of my friends will embark on some version of hers.
I'm excited to see how God moves through this. 
This is unusual for me.  I'm not a "works righteousness" kind of person.  I stand firmly on the side of by grace alone. Living my grace alone is the only way to live, but it should produce good fruit.  My tree can be pretty sparse most days.  I hope to change that.
This book calls on the carpet many of my actions and inaction and I was convicted.  Embarrassed.  Ashamed.  Enlightened.
Our works don't save us.
This book will not save us.
But I want my life to look in such a way that others see Christ.  Not me.  Not my possessions or clothes or home or...just Christ.
The only way for that to happen is to change what I do and what I say and what choices I make.
Let the experiment begin...

I have an idea...

It may be nothing, but it may be incredible.
It's just an idea.  No plans.  No details or kinks worked out.
Just a thought, an idea that may make it easier for those in need in our community to get exactly what it is that they need.
Let the research begin...

Words

I love words. 
They move me.
I could hardly wait to hear the first words out of each of our children's mouths. 
I so wanted to know what they would sound like? 
Over the years, I have wished many times that they wouldn't say quite so MANY words so often! 
And at other times, I just wish they would say something to let me know how they were feeling or what they were thinking.
Words can move people to action, make them pause and reflect, inspire them, and tear them down.
There is power in what we say and write.
I've been thinking lately about how seemingly meaningless comments by myself or others can have an impact on those around us.  And not so much from the speakers point of view, but rather the one who hears it.
Why do we let a single negative comment derail us?  Cause us to doubt what we just a moment ago thought we were sure about?  Make us change our course?
One thoughtless comment can do that. 
Not only do we need to be careful that our words don't create pain in another person, but maybe even moreso, we can't let what others say dictate our course. 

I am as guilty as can be when it comes to speaking without thinking.  Mostly it's under the pretext of humor which can really get me in trouble.  Apparently, I'm not as funny as I think I am at times. 
And I'm a yeller.  My least favorite quality about myself.  I yell at my kids, I rant about this or that, I get all worked up.  This happens less often then it used to, but still too often for my liking. 
Our words can hurt or help.  Hinder or inspire.  Quite frankly, sometimes our words seem to do nothing.  They simply hang in the air.  I often feel like many of my words to my children get left there, hanging in space, never quite hitting the mark.
I love words.  Words of encouragement, of kindness, of love, of laughter.
I hope I remember that the next time I feel the urge to use my words otherwise or allow someone else's words hurt too deep. 

On being thankful...

Be forewarned...more rattling in my brain has contributed to this post so no promises it will make sense.

I've started reading another book.  I'm kinda on a roll lately in being told about awesome books, actually reading them and agreeing that they are awesome.  That doesn't always happen.

I feel like I'm in the third book in a trifecta of books that everyone should read.  They are all inadvertingly connected.  They all address similar issues, but in widely different way.
Kisses from Katie, which I mentioned awhile ago was just a beautiful testament to what God does with someone so humble and willing.   One Thousand Gifts was poetically written, deeply moving to the point of being uncomfortable at times, and profoundly brain changing.  And now, I'm reading 7 by Jen Hatmaker.  Yowza.
So much of these books stems from a place of wanting to be close to God, to be "in commune" with Him, to see his gifts spread out before us, to be Christ-like.  My brain has been winding it's way around the implications this means for my life.  As a life-long Christian, I know these things.  I get it.  I'm just wondering if I REALLY get it??
The brain has settled, for now, very solidly on this idea of "Eucharisteo"  I love it.  It's so simple, yet so powerful. 
I was running on Easter evening (no one was chasing me) and I was listing off thanks as I ran.  What I noticed was that at the end of each "thanks" I mentally added something that made me go, "huh??" 
Here's my train of thought...bear with me...
"For a beautiful town...(cause others don't have that)"
"For the birds chirping...(cause some can't hear that)"
"For beautiful tulips and green grasses...(cause some can't see them)"
"For the ability to run, even if I hate it...(cause some can't and want to)"

See where I'm going with this?  My thanks are totally tied to what others have...or in this case have not.  What good is saying "oh, thank you, thank you" when it's only because I view what I have as better then someone elses circumstances???  Yuck.

I've caught myself M.A.N.Y times doing it.  Yeah, thanks God for X, Y, or Z (cause it's better then what others have to endure, experience, etc.)  So not cool.

Why can't I just be thankful. Period.  Because I "feel" blessed does that make me "more" blessed then others? 
No! 
Should my eucharisteo stem from a place of comparison?  NO! 
It's all there.  For everyone.  In every circumstance. 
Poor. Rich. Blind. Seeing. Mobile. Disabled. Sick. Well.
The blessings are scattered wide.
I want to be thankful.  No comparison.

What to say...

There seems to be a lot of "talking points" rattling around in my head the past few days. 
Not sure where to start so I'll just start here!

I was talking with my super fab sister, Ang, the other day  about Jen Hatmaker's new book, 7.  I haven't read it yet, but have read some reviews and it's definitely on my list.  Ang was telling me the gist of some of it and we got to talking about excess in our lives. 
This happens to be one of my favorite topics.  The irony is that I can never seem to get to the point where I feel balanced in that regard.  Or if I do it's so short-lived that I barely remember.  I love talking about how excessive we are as a nation, but ALWAYS have to point the finger directly back at myself.
I love to live simply. 
I have said this before. 
I don't like stuff. 
I want one of what I need and nothing of what I don't.  Sadly, what I want and what I do and exist in rarely reflect that.  Ang and I were talking about how we balance our societies warped perception of "need" and having to actually live in this society.  How do we balance paying the bills and living with enough?  We determined the best way was to drop off the grid and start a commune!  And since that won't be happening anytime soon, I move on...

We live in a BIG house.  Much bigger then we will ever NEED.  I love it.  It is a beautiful gift.  And it gives me ample space to put stuff where I can not see it for weeks.  Convenient, right?  Blah.
We were talking about how incomes and the cost of living affect this off-balance.  We don't make much by society's standards, yet there are many times I hardly feel like we make enough to live on. 
What a joke!!  All I have to do is look around, look in our cupboards and in our closets and drawers. 
Really??  I'm insane.  Certifiable.  We have too much.
The tricky thing is that when bills are late being paid, or a run to the store has to be put off a day or two. 
Do I still look around and think, "We have so much!"  Not always, but I'm getting there.
So what's enough?  I ask myself that alot.  And not just in a materialistic way...physically, mentally, spiritually, with time, with everything.
Am I spending enough time with my kids, enough time with Chad, enough time in the Word, enough time with my friendships, enough time with me?  It's a daunting list.
And then, I was handed a pretty little package...Easter.  What a perfectly timed reminder (and is there ever not a perfect time to remember Easter?) that He paid enough so that I don't have to worry about the enough. 
We always have enough because He has paid for it all in every category I can conjure up in my budget, my mind, and my life.
And now, if I can just unload the stuff! :-)

The older I get...

the more I like vegetables.
the less I like Skittles.


the more I like a cold glass of water...and beer.
the less I like soda.


the more I like quiet moments alone.
the less I like large groups of people.


the more I like time spent with close friends.
the less I like "partying" with a bunch of acquaintances.


the more I like my husband.
the less I like my husband...kidding, kidding :-)


the more I like quality.
the less I like quantity.


the more I like my parents.
the less I like my childhood notions of who I thought they were.


the more I like sunshine.
the less I like rain.


the more I like my faith.
the less I like what I thought that meant.


the more I like workout pants with spandex.
the less I like any other attire.


the more I like dresses.
the less I like shorts...I realize this counters my previous statement :)


the more I feel settled.
the less I feel flighty.


the more I make mistakes.
the less I beat myself up for those mistakes.


the more I forgive others and myself.
the less I worry.


The older I get, I see many things quite differently then I use to. 
I can only hope age continues to serve me in such a way.

Photo dump

Bubby was given a sweet "dirt bike" from his friend.  He loves it!

Our soccer players! 

Truth be told, 3 year old soccer is a joke, but man are they cute in shin guards.

This is where Chad stood after completing the first CF Open WOD...with one arm.  I've got a whole post in the works for all that.  Needless to say, he impressed me.

TWINS! 

This makes me giggle.  Caleb has called Elijah "twin" for as long as I can remember.  This just solidified it.

He's just cute

This lovely creek is fairly close to my parents and a hidden gem that my brother Gabe led us to.  We had a total blast "riding" the creek current!



Cory Luke :)

We were at my parents' last weekend and made a stop at my brother Luke's gravesite.  It is good for me to know that my kids know about Luke.  This always gives us a great opportunity to tell stories about him. 



Caleb with The Godfather reading books. 

 Man, oh, man we love Uncle Isaac.