Awe

Do you ever look at your own life or maybe someone else's in awe?  
Maybe its because they seem to have it all together and it's hard to imagine them yelling at their kids, having a dirty house or a real care in the world and you're in awe that they keep it all together.

Maybe it's because they have succumbed to the stress life can produce and are wrapped up in alcohol, drugs or maybe seemingly more benign vices, like body image issues or food addictions and you're in awe because pain and stress can pull someone so far from themselves.

Maybe it's because they are thrown nearly every imaginable trial and still get up every morning.  Smile and laugh occasionally. And live on in the face of heartbreaking pain.

Anymore, I am rarely in awe of the first example because I think it rarely holds true. 
I am sometimes in awe at how painful it is to watch someone self-destruct. Not in a self-righteous way, but in a manner that makes me want to meet them in their pain somehow.

But I am never more in awe than when I see someone fight for sanity, for peace, for life, for health against all the odds.  I am in awe at people that want to make the trivial important when so many literally have to convince themselves that tomorrow is worth it.

I am in awe tonight.  Not of myself, but of another. She takes the pain because she has no choice. And she will be the first to tell you she'd gladly choose otherwise. She would happily pass on any one burden she carries.
She wouldn't agree, but it's beyond understanding how she handles her ever changing world, the emotions, the pain, the good and the bad. 
There are moments I have no words of comfort, no way to ease the burdens, no means to make it better, but I stand in awe as she chooses to take on the next day.  Believe me, it's awe-worthy.