Playing catch up

Always, I'm "catching up."
Catching up on laundry, dishes, sleep(impossible to do), paperwork, blogging, with friends.
I've got to rephrase this.  Catching up means I'm behind, which in reality, I'm not really.  Being behind suggests there is some standard to keep up with and I'm just not a fan of standards that create guilt.
And so rather than say I'm catching up on the blog, I'll just say I'll inform you of the goings on of the past few days!! Better right?   

It's always tough to follow the last post.  Where do I go from there?
On, I guess.

A few things on my mind...
Saturday was the 3 year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti.  Images and emotions were tough, especially having been there since the quake.  The organization Help One Now that we had helped support through Pure Charity broke ground on the school that day, as well.  A beautiful full circle moment for those affected by the earthquake.

I leave for Haiti in 3 weeks.  I am excited and a little anxious.  This will be a very different trip.  No Chad, which will be difficult and very different experiences, as well.  We'll be going to a children's hospital, Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying, putting on a VBS for some children in a village and working at a couple orphanages.
It will be a full week with very little communication to and from home.  I have to keep telling myself, we're all going to be ok.

Elijah is part of a scholars program at school.  As part of this, each student was given an Ipod Touch.  Why?  I still don't know.  One, because Elijah declined his because he said he didn't need it. HUH?? Who does that?  And two, because we haven't gotten any information from the school regarding it unless that info only came home with kids who took the Ipod.  I asked Elijah what they were suppose to be using it for and he said so they could do research and educational things at home if they needed to.  I'd like to know the % of kids that do not have internet access at home, in which this would be a useful tool to have.  I'm guessing it's 0%.  My other thought is I think it's my decision whether my child gets a device that has internet access.  Who is regulating the use of these?  I asked Elijah what apps kids had on their Ipod's.  NBA Access.  Sports apps. Games.
Really?  So very educational.  I love it that he declined it.  He is not moved by the masses.  I adore that about him.  And I kinda want him to bring it home so I can play with it cause apparently I can get some sweet games on them. :)


I went to Vegas, had a blast, met some awesome people, absorbed a ton of CF info, and PASSED THE TEST!  I'm officially a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer.  Sounds fancy, huh?  It's the only title I've ever had!
And along those lines, this gym thing is rockin'!  We're up to 28 members!  It's an awesome group to work with and we're loving the community these people are creating with us.

Our car is still in MO.  It's become quite the episode.  We're getting a totally "new" engine.  Used, but new.  44000 miles on it, which is quite the upgrade.  What this means is it will hopefully run for years to come.  Going on 3 weeks now without it and it's been fine.  Thankfully, we've done the 1 car thing for years so it hasn't been too traumatic or inconvenient. 

I think that may be it.  And now you're informed! :)

 

It's that day.

The one that hurts.  Makes me a bit melancholy some years, a sobbing mess others and fiercely introspective others.

This year, I am melancholy.  I woke up too early today. 440am.  I hurried through the first few hours of the day before I realized what today is. 
Ten years go by so fast.
I'm merely a shadow of who I was 10 years ago.  The girl who got the call that her little brother had passed on handled it as best she could.

Gut wrenching sadness.  Auto-pilot days and nights. Some things felt painfully harsh. The air was colder, the wind stronger.  And other things dulled.  Colors and sounds.

Today I am sad, but hopeful.  Luke provides me with such a perspective.  That kind of loss at that time in my life was profound.  Life-shaping.  World-shifting. 
I would gladly trade those life lessons for my baby brother.  He always saw the good in things.  If he could find the good, surely it's in me to see the good, as well.  And so I try, in everything, to find that silver lining however small.  It's there, sometimes hidden under pain and loss and sadness and anger. 
Look for it.  Dig for it.  It's worth the effort to find the good.

Nerves

Big weekend coming up. 
This thing we've taken on called a CrossFit gym has been a total blast so far. 
Next step for me is become certified rather than being an "apprentice."
That means a weekend away by myself (YAY!), 2 full days of instruction (YAY!), and a 50 question test. (UGH!)
I don't have a problem with taking tests, per se.  It's just that I haven't taken a test in oh, probably a decade. I haven't studied for anything in well over 5 years and I'm just a wee bit nervous about this test. 
I know I know what I know and I think I know what I need to know.  It's just that little voice inside that says, "maybe you won't pass."
Thankfully, CrossFit carries over even into this.  Shocker.  I've had to silence many a voices over the years of doing CrossFit.  Many, "you can't do that", "it's not worth the effort", "don't bother", "why would you want to".  I'll silence this voice like I silence the others by just doing it anyway.  Nothing fancy.  No big motivational talks. Just, go do it and see how it goes down.
I'm super excited to go learn alongside what I'm sure to be are excellent coaches.  I hope what I come back with is helpful to those at our box.  And, quite frankly, I hope I don't learn a whole lot cause I've been studying this stuff ALOT!

A year in review

2012 in bullet points...(if you don't want to reread my 2012, you may want to skip this one!)

*3 year olds are hard to deal with, hilarious to talk to, impossible not to love and mind-boggling obnoxious.  Early 2012 was filled with retelling this bit of proof.

*We spent a quick weekend in Frisco to cheer on our favorite people in the FCS Championship game!  A few things to remember here.

*February brought a forever change, our first house project and a mishap.

*A trifecta of vision changing books started with Kisses from Katie, then here and finally with an experiment.

*Epic birthday party, dance girl, and our first pet loss...here.

*A "NO WAY!" moment, clarity and a community of love were all pivotal moments in 2012!

*A job change and a much anticipated 4th birthday for THIS GUY!

 

*No football for the first time in 8 years meant a very different fall season for us. But it also allowed us to fulfill a dream.

 

*Summer photo dump!

 

*Questions were answered, birthday revelations were revealed, and a much needed trip.

 

*And a full November and December!

 

What a year!! Many changes for us and lots to look forward to in the coming year!!

Happy New Year!! 

 

 



Life's an adventure!

We're home.  Without our car.
Turns out it's pretty banged up.  To the point that the insurance co. needs to go check it out and decide if they want to total it.
So, my parents, in all their gracious kindness, borrowed a van yesterday and hauled our brood 4 hours home only to turn around and drive 4 hours back.  Saints, these people.
At every turn of this saga, one of my parents would say with a big grin and a hug, "Life's an adventure."
Never were more true words said.
I've been mulling that over the past day or so.  I attribute my "rollin' with it" attitude to them.  It is the thing about myself that I may appreciate more then anything else.  It has saved me endless stress, I'm sure.  And, if I'm honest, it is the one thing that can get pretty annoying too.  Sometimes I get tired of rolllin' with it.  I'd kinda like to whine and complain and make a big stupid deal about something.  And I do occasionally.  It feels good to whine...for about 2 seconds.
The conclusion I've come to is that it takes too much energy to whine for very long.  I have an extremely limited amount of energy and conservation is what keeps me going...and coffee.
I like this adventure we're living.  I'd rather it be a little less adventuresome at times, but most of this crazy we chose so we keep rollin'! 

Merry Christmas

As I'm sitting at my parents' this morning, not going to church, without Chad and half our Christmas presents at home, I'm reminded, yet again, that our best laid plans are sometimes interrupted.

The plan was to go home yesterday morning in time to get to the gym and for Chad to get to work on time.  Our plans were derailed with an incident involving a deer the evening before.  Bambi's mom (sorry!!) decided to jump in front of our car and did what we thought was manageable damage.  The next morning, Christmas Eve, we made it about 30 minutes down the road when we concluded we weren't making it home without a mechanic's help.  After stalling at the top of an off ramp, pushing the car into a truck stop and some help from the cashiers, we found a mechanic that was actually open on Christmas Eve.

At this point we were still hopeful we would get home that night, as we thought the damage was a coolant line.

Turns out we busted our radiator beyond repair and our car had a rare setup that requires the car to be essentially dismantled in order to replace a radiator.  Poor mechanic was so kind.  I felt horrible that he was here on Christmas Eve working.  He said it would be the evening before he would get it done as the new radiator wouldn't get in til 130.  So, mom, dad and Dan came and got us and we headed back to my parents, without our luggage/stuff, thinking we would be back that evening.

Phone call around 130.  Wrong radiator came in and now the car wouldn't get fixed til Wednesday morning.
With Chad having to work and a now HEFTY bill for the car, we had to get Chad home.  My parents, again, selfless and beyond kind, offered their car for him to take.  So he took off for home and the kids and I are here til Wednesday with only our clothes we are wearing, when we'll get the car, pay the bill(ugh), and head home.

Now the good parts...we get a few more days at my parents.  Never a bad thing.  My mom's dear friend down the road heard we were without most of our presents and delivered a bag of gifts for the kids and one for me!!  Tears ensued.  My sweet friend had given us her camera to give to Autumn when she heard that is what she wanted.  I was able to go pick it up and wrap it for her to have here! Being the procrastinator I am, I still had a few things left to get and was able to pick those up so the kids did have a few things to open.

It's easy to throw a pity party, but I can't stay there. I'm bummed we aren't together on Christmas.  I'm bummed our "big" present is at home.  I'm bummed Chad is at home alone on Christmas, although he'll sleep the day away since he has to work tonight.  I'm bummed I didn't think to grab extra clothes so my boys are in PJs til Wednesday and I'm in baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.  I'm bummed we aren't in church this morning because I'm too proud to take my kids to church in their PJs(I know! No one would care.) 

But really and truly, its ok.  Pity parties make me grumpy, anyway. We are warm, loved, and cared for.  We are quite literally out of money, but we're safe.  We're not together, but it's not the first time, and we'll celebrate on Wednesday.  We were blessed beyond measure by friends and family.  My kids are super low maintainence at my parents which is a welcome break for this over-worked momma.  I'm so very grateful for this day.  This unplanned, interrupted, not what I expected Christmas day. 
Merry Christmas!!

Evil

It's several days now since Sandy Hook Elementary was shot up by a lone gunman.  It's what every one is talking about.  Every news outlet leads with a story about this town in Connecticut that I'm sure I would have never heard of had this not happened.  Newtown.

Everyone seems to have an opinion, a thought, a prayer, a solution, or a reason.  I have nothing.  Literally nothing, but what I heard said in a news story that "evil visited" that school that day.  That resonated with me as the only thing.  The only opinion, thought, prayer or reason that could for one second make sense of the senseless.

We as a society don't do well with things that don't make sense. 
We want things to fit together nicely.  Nothing about shooting 20 kindergarteners and 6 adults can be understood.  Evil.  Pure evil in the shape of a 20 year old boy with a crazed mind.  There is no comfort in that. 

I think of those babies and the adults who tried to stand in his way, how that community is shattered.  I think about the gunman's family and how they must have struggled with him throughout his life.  I think about my babies and how I quite literally can't protect them from evil on my own.  And, there can be no comfort outside of Jesus in this mess.  I can't logically understand how God could allow this to happen.  I can't in good faith provide any sort of reason or opinion on why those children and adults were killed.  All I know is that when tragedy beyond understanding comes upon us, we can only find peace that passes understanding in Christ.  It's not easy.  It's not logical.  And it does not fit nicely with the emotions of 26 senseless murders, but it is the only place I feel safe. 

Willpower

I am seriously trying to use willpower to keep myself from getting horribly sick and I think I'm failing.
There are horror stories going around town about the kind of nastiness that is sweeping through the schools.  Only 6 out of 21 kids in a class one day.  Violent vomiting.  Influenza A and B.
Caleb was sick for about 2 days this past week and he likes to get up close and personal when he's feeling puny.  I'm sure if there were germs that wanted me to be sick, I've got 'em.
I'm right on that line of getting nasty sick and just moderately but still functioning sick.
I will not get sick.  I will not get sick. I will not get sick.
Who has time to get sick?? Not me!! 
So I will drink my tea, go to sleep and pray I feel semi-normal in the morning.

Gym Rat

The majority of my childhood/teen years were spent in a gym.  Basketball gym.  My dad always coached and I played or my brothers played or sister played.  We were in the gym ALOT.
I loved it.  To this day walking into my old high school gym floods me with good, happy emotions.  I love the sounds of sneakers squeaking on the gym floor, shouts and hollers echoing off the walls, the smell of the waxed floors. 

This adventure of starting a CrossFit gym is beginning to conjure up those same feelings and connections.  Our first week has been really incredible.  We super love our initial groupies and are excited about our newbies starting!
I find myself wanting to go down the street to the gym.  Where I use to grab a ball and shoot around at the basketball gym, now I sit on the rower for a few 100 meters, do a few pull-ups, and work on some Olympic lifts.  I love hearing the door open and our people coming in for their wod.  I love hearing them joke and chat together as they get warmed up.  I love coaching.
I am certain that may wane some as time goes on...or maybe it won't. We're still honeymooning right now :)  What I am sure about is we're really happy we ventured down this path. And I super like being a gym rat again.

Mystery solved

Mr. Groves, a retired school teacher and recent widower, comes to the coffee shop every morning and sometimes for lunch.  He quickly became my favorite and I believe the feeling was mutual.  He has such a beautiful demeanor about him. He radiates a gentle spirit and we became fast friends.  He tirelessly plays UNO with the boys when they come and took a particular liking to Autumn. 
So when he decided to tell me this morning that he was our anonymous donor, I really was not surprised.  It is just something he would do.  The reason he told me was because he wanted me to know that he really does care for our family and he and his wife had done this every Christmas and he was so happy to do it.
So I did get to cry and thank this sweet man who really not only made our Christmas season extra special, but I told him where some of that money went so he knew that his generosity affected children and families he has never known!

Anonymous

I honestly do not know why some people do some things. Good things, bad things, nothings.
We have been the recipients of many a good things. 
Yesterday, I stepped out on the porch to grab the mail, sat on the couch and opened a few Christmas cards (Seriously, people??  It's the first week of Dec.  How do you get these done??  Never, not once have I done Christmas cards. It's sad.)
Anyway, one did not have a return address and the card had a cute German shepherd in the snow on the front...and 6 $100 dollar bills in it!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not even kidding.  WHO does THAT????????
I'm still in shock and honestly humbled beyond words.  We knowingly stretched ourselves tight this year with opening a business, but this kindness goes beyond our needs!  I immediately put that $ in the bank and sent a good chunk to where our heart is, House of Love and Hope in Haiti. 
What a ripple affect this person created??  I hate that I can't hug this person and cry and tell them thank you.  That is what my heart wants, but with an anonymous gifts, I'm out of luck.  So I will be keeping my eyes and ears open to "re-gift" some of this kindness shown to us!! :-)
Merry Christmas!!

Confession

Hi, my name is Sarah and I am not a morning person.  Basically anything before 7:00 a.m. hurts.  Sometimes really badly. 

Maybe if I got up at that time enough, I would become a morning person, you say? Nope.  I have had my share of mornings to test this out.
Most recently, I have tested this theory out as we offer a 6:15 a.m. class at CrossFit Pathos and with Chad at work at that time some days and our friend/fellow trainer, Anna, in a different town, that means little non-morning person me will teach some of those times.  Chad was laughing at me this morning as he left for work and I dragged myself to the bathroom at 5:20 a.m.  I was a sorry sight.

Really and truly, it's fine.  I can fake being happy to be up before the sun.  And if I'm going to get up that early there are worse things to get up for then something I truly enjoy like coaching CrossFit. 
I am just one of those people that believe not much should take place before noon.  Very few things actually. Getting out of bed before noon is probably good.  Eating breakfast before noon, also beneficial.  Um, I can't really think of anything else.

And so in the hopes of "being real." I just wanted to get that out there.  Those of you who know me already know this, but still.  It's valuable information to repeat. 
My name is Sarah and I am not a morning person.

Blood, sweat and tears

Starting a business is no easy task.  I knew that heading into the beast, but it really has gone smoothly.  A few hiccups here and there, but nothing major.
I was in tears on Tuesday due to computer issues that were holding up the single document that would allow us to sign our lease and move forward. It was a painful reminder of how dependent we are on technology!
This weekend we literally poured blood and sweat into getting the building ready for Monday.  My hands are pretty banged up from mishaps with tools or dragging rubber flooring, but I was very glad for my already calloused hands!
And I can honestly say our CrossFit training played right into the set up of the gym!  Functional training usage at its best!!

 

We spent the large majority of our time cleaning, prepping, planning, cleaning, setting up, cleaning, organizing, and did I mention cleaning??
This place was D.I.R.T.Y!  Dirt and grime, dust and debris. 
We were covered in filth the first day and a little less filth the second day. We're hoping with a few more spray downs, mop ups, and more flooring down the road, we'll be able to keep it relatively neat.
We are so ready to get this going and hope that our gym is an integral part of this community for a LONG time!

 

On the brink.

We've been sitting here on the brink of this new adventure for what seems like an eternity, but in actuality has only been a few months. 
We are so close to diving in to our new CrossFit gym. 
It's exhausting, exhilarating, and daunting. 
It's a lot of moolah up front.  It's trusting that moolah will come back around on the other side.
It's me squelching a lot of "what ifs", "I don't knows" and "I can'ts".
It's a lot of talk, rehash, re-evaluate, talk, "CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!", rest, discuss, decide...

My prayer is that people will see in Chad and I a pure desire to help others.  That this is not a trend.  That CrossFit is more then the latest fitness bandwagon. That improved fitness is possible with any subset of people.  I hope this reaches wide in our community.

There is no way I would have thought a few years back that this was in our future.  I've become quite accustomed to not trying to figure out our future.  Generally that means I try to keep super low expectations.  With this though, in the quiet places of my mind, they are high.
I hope we reach the heights.

Laundry

I would like to apologize beforehand. 

Scene: Me laying on the bed looking at my phone.
           Chad getting ready to work out.

Chad: "I think my abs are almost back to normal," as he raises his shirt to reveal his washboard abs.  "Can you massage them a little though?"
Me: "It's hard to massage stone, babe."
Chad: "Yeah. Anyone need some laundry done around here?"

This is my world. 

Genius

Scene: Coloring in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coloring book with Caleb.  Caleb hands me a red and a yellow.
Me: Caleb, what color will these two make?
Caleb: Orange.
Me: Wow, Caleb.  That's right. You're smarter then some kindergarteners.
Caleb: I know.  It's cuz I'm a genius.

Well, there you have it.  We have a genius.

For the love of smart people

Some people have good ideas.  Some people have great ideas.  People like me like to use other people's ideas.
Hence, why I like Pinterest.  I am not an idea's person.  I'm good with someone else coming up with something genius and using it! 
So, the latest genius idea that came from someone else that I've come across is Pure Charity!
Oh my stinkin' goodness.  It's so smart, it hurts.  Lots of bloggers I read have jumped on this one and I wanted to spread the word too.  My blog reach is SUPER limited, but if all 4 of you tell a few people then SOMEONE will join, right??!!?
So go to Pure Charity, create an account, register your card or cards, download the online app and get to making some moolah for charity.  I was blown away by all the online retailers that are a part of this.  Big names. Walmart, Target, Lowes, Home Depot, Sephora, Best Buy, Gap.  ENDLESS!!!  You could literally spend every penny of every purchase for the rest of your life at one of the stores.  AND get $ to give to any of the projects listed! JACKPOT!
What's cool too is you can just put some money in your account whenever too.  So if you want to give $20 to a project, just go ahead.  No shopping required.
Genius, people, pure genius.  Now if I can just get ahold of someone there so I can figure out how to get the orphanage up as a project, I'll be comatose with excitement!
Go.  Do it.  Now. Or at least tell someone else to do it!

Awe

Do you ever look at your own life or maybe someone else's in awe?  
Maybe its because they seem to have it all together and it's hard to imagine them yelling at their kids, having a dirty house or a real care in the world and you're in awe that they keep it all together.

Maybe it's because they have succumbed to the stress life can produce and are wrapped up in alcohol, drugs or maybe seemingly more benign vices, like body image issues or food addictions and you're in awe because pain and stress can pull someone so far from themselves.

Maybe it's because they are thrown nearly every imaginable trial and still get up every morning.  Smile and laugh occasionally. And live on in the face of heartbreaking pain.

Anymore, I am rarely in awe of the first example because I think it rarely holds true. 
I am sometimes in awe at how painful it is to watch someone self-destruct. Not in a self-righteous way, but in a manner that makes me want to meet them in their pain somehow.

But I am never more in awe than when I see someone fight for sanity, for peace, for life, for health against all the odds.  I am in awe at people that want to make the trivial important when so many literally have to convince themselves that tomorrow is worth it.

I am in awe tonight.  Not of myself, but of another. She takes the pain because she has no choice. And she will be the first to tell you she'd gladly choose otherwise. She would happily pass on any one burden she carries.
She wouldn't agree, but it's beyond understanding how she handles her ever changing world, the emotions, the pain, the good and the bad. 
There are moments I have no words of comfort, no way to ease the burdens, no means to make it better, but I stand in awe as she chooses to take on the next day.  Believe me, it's awe-worthy.

Photo Dump!

Bruises from kettlebell snatches that I apparently don't do properly. 

Running with the post of a horseshoe game + falling on concrete=ER visit.

No stitches!  We had a very lengthy conversation prior to the doctor coming. in which I tried to convince him that if the Hulk hurt his hand, he would let the doctor fix it and thereby default, Caleb should let the doctor fix his hand, as well.  Caleb was unconvinced by this logic, as Hulk doesn't do anything he doesn't want and Caleb did not want stitches.
Guess we both won that one, right?

Lucky #7.  I love watching this boy play sports.  Kinda makes me giddy.

My current chalkboard.  Something I need to hear E.V.E.R.Y day.

Oh baby love.  Not a bad reason to go to Virginia for a few days, aye?

Beautiful beach girls!

Many, many hours spent along this coastline. Made me very nostalgic for the "early years" of our marriage. 

Halloween 2012-like no other. 

Batgirl, 80s rocker, ninja, "wacky boy"(I didn't really get it either), army guy (or navy special forces guy), red dragon, red ninja, and Venom without the mask.
A motley crew to say the least. 

Halloween, again? 

Nope.  Just another day in the life of Cory Luke.  He has been wearing this nearly every day for about a week now.  The glasses just put me over the edge :)

Ran an errand and left Cory to do some handwriting.  This was taped to the door upon my return. 1. Beautiful handwriting for the little guy. 2. He taped the pen with it so I could "star" the best ones.

Oh! Hello again.

Where does the time go?  I am telling you, it feels like my last post was just a few days ago, but it's been weeks. WEEKS!! 
I don't know how to catch up on weeks. 
Little things happened.  Big things happened. 
So here's a recap and hopefully I can be a little more on top of things in the coming weeks (we all know not to hold our breath on that one, right?)...
I came back from VA with a nasty cold.  It didn't settle in really bad for a few days, but it took me down a notch for several days and is still lingering slightly.  Totally manageable and totally worth the trip! 
Before I got too sick, Chad and I were able to compete with some of our friends in a CrossFit competition in Olathe.  It was wicked fun in a painful, sweaty way.

Natasha, Anna, me, Becky and Shelly

Go McPherson CrossFitters!

 

Snatchin'

Such good form



The guys goofing off.
Dan, Matt, Jeramy, Chad and Eric



 

We drove home late that night with 4 extra kiddos.  3 of our nephews and 1 niece came back home with us for a few days while their parents, Chad's brother and wife, finished up some packing/moving details.  Sadly for us they will be in Hawaii the next 3 years.  I keep dreaming we'll be able to visit them. 


In other news, we're a few steps closer to opening our own CrossFit gym.  I'm so excited for Chad to be able to spend his free time doing something he is so passionate about.  I will also be coaching and will get certified in the next few months.  I'm excited and nervous about that.  I have learned so much in the past few years about body mechanics, olympic lifting, training, and the list goes on.  I hope I am able to convey those things to others!  It's a daunting task and not one I thought I'd ever take on, but I'd love to pass on my knowledge (however limited, at this point) to anyone who wants to learn!

So I suppose that's the recap.  The day to day continues as usual with our little peeps.  Lots of practices and school.
Life marches on...