There are a few wars I'm currently waging internally. Not wanting to really share the specifics just yet, but it's things that could very well change the course of our lives. Sounds scary, huh? That's what I'm saying. These "wars" are one of my least favorite things about being an adult. For me the battle always lies somewhere between trying to use human reason to "figure" stuff out and trying to understand what it is that God would have me do. Maybe sometimes those match up and sometimes they just don't seem to. I have to reconcile that in my mind and it's hard.
I do think there are those little voices that lead us (don't say I'm crazy! I know you have them too.) But what if the voices can't agree? Ok, that sounds certifiable crazy.
How about if I rephrase that?
What if the pros and cons outweigh each other?
Much better...less crazy.
Or what if the pros and cons don't matter? What if trying to do what's best has nothing to do with pros/cons and is solely a decision that needs to be made without our flawed human reasoning? Have I confused you yet? Well, join the club!
Quite frankly, sometimes I think I know what I should do and I just flat out don't want to. What does that say about me? Yeah, I'm stubborn. I'm banking on the fact that God knows that and loves me anyway.
My motivation in most decision-making goes as follows...1. I really do want to lead a life that is pleasing to God. 2. I don't want to screw my kids up. 3. It really matters to me what my husband thinks about things. Not that I always agree, but I need to know where he stands. 4. Sometimes I disregard all of the above and mess up.
So, I battle. Do you?
Nah, I always know exactly what I'm supposed to do at every moment! Pshaaa! Ok, seriously...It's a good question. Why is it that decisions are so hard and we often don't want to do what we should or we want to do something that we shouldn't. It sounds familiar, right?
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