My own darn fault...

Ugh.

I did it. 

It crept up on me slowly right under my nose.

I'm over-booked, over-scheduled, over-run, over-stressed, and under-equipped.

The weight of everything that I've committed to do is too much and I need to unload.

It's happened in the past. 

It usually starts with something innocent, like just a couple hours here or there. 

"No problem," I think.  "I can do that."

This time around it was a slow load.  One thing led to another thing led to another thing.  Sadly, they are all things I really would like to do.

I like both of my jobs, I like playing volleyball, I like coaching basketball, I like homeschooling, I like working out (most of the time).  And that's just SOME of the things I'm doing these days.
But I love being a mom, and that is what has been seriously slacking these days.

I can't do it all.  My sanity is screaming at me to slow down and more importantly my kids are screaming at me to slow down. 
They aren't actually screaming those words, but everything about them is telling me they need to slow down.
Sadly, the younger ones are subject to the older ones' and my schedules.  They get dragged from here to there without much choice in the matter.
I've always preached and firmly believe that little kids need to be home...with their mom or dad...just being kids.  It's where they learn best, grow best.  In a safe, familiar environment.  It's also where I learn and grow the best.

I haven't been practicing what I preach and it makes me mad that I've let it get to this point.
I like being busy, but not like this.

So, I'm looking.  Looking for ways to trim the extra.  Not because I really want to, but because I need to. My kids need me to. 

They are growing up so fast right in front of me and I don't want to miss the slow times.  I want to be present in the moments.  We only get these little people for a short time. 
 Here's what I mean...
These 2 little people...

 Become this guy...

and this lovely lady.

And this sweet thing...

Becomes this smiley little man.

And, then, these cheeks...

 Grow up into this face in just a few moments.

It's almost more then I can bear.  So, I ask myself.  Why am I filling my days to capacity with anything BUT them?
I know I need some sort of outlet to maintain my sanity, but I don't need 12 outlets.
I'm working on it...