I'm in between a rock and a hard place, people.
Help me!
Elijah is entirely, 100% adamant that learning to play the piano is "pointless." His words. The days he has lessons, he is moody, crabby and mad at me. None of which I particularly enjoy dealing with.
His argument: Why do I have to learn something that I don't like and don't see a point in doing?
My argument: There are lots of things in life that we don't appreciate til later. I think piano is one of those things.
His argument: It's suppose to be a hobby, which is something someone enjoys doing. I do not enjoy piano.
My argument: It's not so much a hobby (unless, he wanted it to be), it's more like a school subject. Like history or language.
His argument: But, I like school. I don't like piano.
My argument: You may not now, but you'll be glad to know, at least the basics at some point in your life.
His argument: I'd rather be doing something I really enjoy doing.
My argument: You may really enjoy playing piano if you gave it a chance.
His argument: Whatever.
My argument: (Said to myself) I'm going to lose this argument.
So what do I do?
The mature adult me says make him do it. He'll thank me later. The annoyed part of me says let him quit. If he doesn't enjoy it or want to do it and it makes him miserable, is it really teaching him anything?
I'm all for teaching our kids that life isn't easy and sometimes we have to do things we don't like. I'm not sure if I want to use piano to reinforce that life lesson. I want it to be something that is enjoyed and appreciated, not scorned and rejected.
I love music. All kinds. I wish I had stuck with piano longer, but at the time, I was so glad to quit. I had better things to do, in my mind. I was about 10, too. I remember thinking the EXACT same things he has said.
He and I are quite similar in our temperments, interests, attitudes. I understand how he feels. What to do? What to do?
I'm torn.
Is there another instrument he would rather play? You know my opinion on the whole piano thing, luckily mine aren't as adamantly opposed (at least outwardly), but if they were, I think I'd still stick with making them learn some kind of musical instrument. That being said, if you follow this advice, and he picks drums - then I will apologize to you for being really, really wrong and take it all back! :) Just think it through thoroughly is all I'm saying.
ReplyDeletewhen i was a nanny, one of the girls took drums. she did not like it but her mother was making her fulfill her commitments. it went on for awhile till the teacher told the mom that it was a waste of HIS time to teach someone who was uninterested and that she should take a break. just another perspective...
ReplyDeletewhen i was little, i went through piano, guitar, clarinet etc.... never fully embracing any of them... just not a musical person that way. love music, just not playing an instrument. :) another perspective....
let me know how this plays out dearest!
My piano teacher made me quit because I really didn't enjoy it and hated practicing. I think that all happened shortly after she told me my fingers were too short to properly play, but I digress! :) I am glad that I did learn at least the basics of piano though. Helped me in later years of reading music which I absolutely love! I always wished I had the passion to play piano when I was younger, but my talents lied elsewhere. Turns out I was a much better singer than instrument player.
ReplyDeleteMusic and arts are important, but I think you have to have a passion for something to make it worthwhile otherwise it becomes something you dread. I played saxophone for a while in school and was terrible at it and hated it. Took me years to be able to think of a sax without feeling queasy. Love to hear the sounds, just couldn't play worth anything and it gave me anxiety I didn't need. Loved learning to play the trumpet though! So go figure?
Guess I don't have any good advice for you aside from what the others have said. I know you're an amazing mother and you'll make a decision that is best for you both! ((((HUGS))))
Wonderful advice, by all! Thanks, girls!
ReplyDeleteNo decisions have been made at this time :)
Tell him to call his Aunt Grace. And make him stick with it. You can ask almost every one of us if we regret quitting and I think we do. It sucks but once you learn, its a lifetime lesson. So until he can sit down and play anything, he should continue taking lessons.
ReplyDeleteI can tell this is between a rock and a hard place for you..... you can't be responsible for E's regrets! You've given him the opportunity to develope a talent, but he truly may not be happy grasping this one. Maybe there is something more appealing to him he can be more passionate about....
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have to chime in on this one, even if it is late. I often think back and wonder how things would have turned out if I had taken piano lessons when I was a kid. I would probably be a much better piano player, but I don't know if I would have gotten to experience things the way I have. I like what Noelle said about loving music but not loving playing an instrument. I say let E choose. If he doesn't realize that he wants to be a musician until late into his teen years like a certain uncle of his then you can be like, "Well, I told you so."
ReplyDelete