Parents

My parents are coming on Friday.
They may be bringing my litte sister and brother.
Not sure exactly cause I haven't really talked to them in a few days and that usually means something has changed multiple times and I no longer know "the plan".

The sad part of ths scenerio is that they will be here for about 24 hours.

That's it.

One measly day and we have to sleep during part of that time so it's really more like 18 hours or something. Bah!

I really like it when they visit and it's not nearly enough. Oddly, I really thought that it would happen more and I think they did too. It's not their fault. They are busy. Crazy busy, 99% of the time.

I always thought that life would maybe slow down as the kids got older, but I'm realizing that is just not the case.

Well, maybe it is if you don't have 9 grown children to fit into your lives like my parents, but they do a wonderful job, I'd say.

It's an intersting set-up, my family. There are alot of us, each with our own lives, circle of friends, schedules, etc. My parents have a very busy life, with their friends, schedules, work, etc. So where do we all fit in?

I'm not sure. I think we all learned pretty early on that we have to take turns. Not just with toys or games, but with our parents, too. Biggest problem gets attention first. I don't know what it's like as an adult to just have my parents "around."
We talk often and really do get to see each other every few months.

They are incredible parents. They have essentially given their whole lives to raising all of us and I'm so thankful for the sacrifices they made to raise us well. Having my own kids now, I realize that even more. It's stinkin' hard!!

My parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary next week. Pretty impressive, I'd say. We're going to all get together this summer to celebrate with them, which doesn't happen very often and isn't easy to do. I'm excited.

So, ya, my parents are coming and I'm stoked to see them. Even if it's only for 18 hours.

16 things

This was a Facebook note a few years back, but I thought it would make a good blog post, too. I think I might do a full post on each of these...?

1. I have more brothers then cousins...7 brothers, 6 cousins

2. When I was little, I really, really, really, wanted to be a rancher in Montana.

3. I use to coach elementary girls volleyball and basketball and I would LOVE to do that again.

4. I'm the all time leading scorer in basketball at my high school.

5. I nearly get a panic attack if I have to go to a funeral home. Residual effects of losing my brother, Luke. It's gotten better over the years.

6. I would love to adopt siblings from Haiti someday...only God knows if we'll ever do that. My grandparents were missionaries there and my parents have traveled there as well.

7. I started writing a novel last year, but am scared to finish it. I'd also love to write a novel based on my great grandparent's lives.

8. I LOVE, LOVE road trips! There is not much more exciting to me then packing up the car and driving. Honestly, even with my kids, I love it! Something about driving is very therapeutic for me.

9. Nothing is more annoying to me then to have people who know how many children Chad and my parents both had and to ask if we're going to have 9 or 10 too.

10. I tend to get really excited about something and start, but then not finish. It's one thing I really would like to change about myself.

11. I really want to visit Ireland someday and find some of my relatives. My paternal grandmother is Irish.

12. I love all things coffee...mugs, coffee shops, flavors, decor...

13. I plan on finishing college someday, but I have no idea what I'd get my degree in. I like a little of everything.

14. I would really like to tandem sky dive with Chad someday. He's done it quite a bit so it makes me less scared to go with him :)

15. I really love my life...most days :) We got married very young and started a family right away when everyone our age was doing other things, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

16. I get along really well with all my inlaws. Chad's parents are really low key and easy to love. I'm very thankful for that.

Moving right along...just not fast enough for me.

Lots of people have been hard at work at our house and we are eternally grateful! Here's a few updated pictures since my last post about the house.

sick babies, ballerinas, and clowns

We've had sick kids around here the past few days and it's no fun. Thankfully, things are looking up and they are on the mend.
I'm not FOR sick kids per se, but I must say there are things I treasure about those moments when they are feeling puny.
They lay still...for the most part...



They are cuddlier (yes, I know that's not a real word),and when you have 2 little boys who go 90 mph 90% of the time it's so nice to cuddle sometimes.

We had a busy week with the annual All Schools Day. This is a bit of a strange phenomenon for us. We're not FROM here so we didn't know what to expect 3 years ago at our first ASD. It was fun. I like it. I like traditions. The kids like the carnival, which I pretty much hate, but put up with.

We had our first performer this year in the May Fete craziness...

Our little ballerina in the middle.

So back to the sick kids...Chad was my hero this weekend. First and foremost because Cory puked all over him at the parade in front of a bunch of people we don't know and he handled it gracefully. Secondly, because he didn't punch a clown in the face for being a complete jerk.
Apparently a few moments after Cory had yakked all over Chad, a clown passed by and said,
"Uh, oh! Someone made a mess. Didn't your mommy teach you not to make a mess."

Yep, that's what he said. I missed this as I was trying to grab wipes to help with the clean up. He's lucky I didn't hear him cause I hadn't been puked on and I would have punched him in the face.

Update on the fight against the Wii...

Well, I won. Sort of.
I stated my case to Elijah about why I was against getting a Wii.
1. It would take ALL his money and some of ours to get the Wii.
2. Games are expensive and we would not be getting new ones on a regular basis.
3. It's an indoor game and we spend most of our days outside over the summer.

Short pause..."Yeah, you're right." Elijah said.

"WHAT!!!?!?!"

Just like that. I'm right. I was so pumped.

So we started looking for an alternative item that got him excited. Here it is:


Air Hogs Switchblade

He was SUPER excited about it. We went to Walmart even though they said it can only be ordered online and were stoked to find it.
Ah, the thrill!! Got it home and all put together.
Took out to a wide open space...

COULDN'T GET IT TO FLY!

I'm honestly not sure if it was operator error(entirely possible) or what.

Since then, he has tried to fly it once...in our yard...which has a large tree...that he got it stuck in. This was, of course, after Chad and I had told him several times NOT to fly it in our yard for that very reason.

After several attempts by several of the neighbor kids we got it down. It's still in working condition.

Elijah is not happy. He wants to take it back. I'm gonna let him.

I do feel pretty bad about the whole ordeal. I hate it when they get all hyped about a toy and it's disappointing. He's going to look for something else a little more operator friendly.

I'm thinking a Wii might be a good idea :)

Why wasn't I told...?

I realized some time ago that there are certain things that people don't fully explain to expectant parents. Either that or they did and it's just one of those things you have to understand through experience.

One of those things is that there are times/days that you won't like your child. WHAT?? I thought being a mom was going to be dreamy and, sure, hard, but mostly just great!
Maybe other parents have managed to avoid these "disliking" moments, but I sure haven't. I, of course, love my children. They are fun, interesting, unique and simply wonderful.

That being said, I could have gone without my youngest today. Truly, if I had woken up and someone else had taken him all day and not brought him home til bedtime, I would not have been upset and I doubt I would have missed him much. Sounds harsh when I put it to words. Just being honest.

He's insanely stubborn. Twice today I went to put him down for a nap. No go.
A few weeks ago, I simply had to have him give everyone a kiss, say good night and lay him down. Just like that. He'd go to sleep.
Now's it's World War III everytime I say nap. Quite frankly, he's a punk. I've told him such, but he doesn't seem to think that's a bad thing.

I go between being a total hard ass and not letting him be in charge to just flat out getting tired and letting him get up and do whatever he wants. He wears me out.

I remember this time, this age with my other kids. It's so fun in some ways. They're funny, goofy and learn something new every day. I keep telling myself to find the good things about him today. It's been slim pickins'.

And here's the catch...it doesn't matter. He can be a total punk, completely uncooperative, and just a total pain and I still love him like crazy. I'll keep him cause I'm banking on the fact that some day, probably sooner then later, I'll miss this time in our lives.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better...

Video games

I don't mind video games per se.

I've played a good bit in my lifetime. As a kid, I beat Ms. Pacman on our Atari. It was awesome and I know I spent ALOT of hours perfecting my moves. I don't think I was harmed by my time playing.

We bought one of those old school plug in atari games awhile back. It was awesome cause it had Ms. Pacman and Galaga, which brought back sweet memories for both Chad and I.

I guess the kids liked it too :)

So why am I so NOT for getting a gaming system??

What I mind is what I know will be the endless requests to play said video games. It's annoying and it frustrates me cause I'd rather they were playing outside or being creative independently. This thought is all well and good in the utopia that is my mind, but reality tends to be different.
I'm sure we'd have fun with it. There might even be some "bonding". I just don't want to take the plunge. We've held off for so long!

So here's my dilemma...
Elijah has been saving up for quite awhile for a Wii. He was SURE 100% that is what he wanted so he didn't spend his money on silly things that break after a minute or stuff he didn't REALLY want. We told him that we would pay half after we moved into the new house.

Now, I am trying like CRAZY to convince him that he doesn't REALLY want a Wii.

Bad mom?

Quite possibly.

He's got a good chunk of change and I'm so proud of him for knowing what he wanted and saving for it diligently. So, now, I feel like I'm manipulating the situation a little. I really don't have ANY desire to have a Wii or any video game in our house. I don't mind if they play it...just somewhere else.

I just don't want to hear the never-ending requests to play, or the fights over what to play or whatever else comes with getting something like this.
And, I'm slightly morally opposed to it, I think. In my mind, it could very well be the one thing that starts to destroy the fabric of our family!!

I may be slightly dramatic about that point...just a little.

But seriously, I'd much rather they play games outside, ride their bikes, climb trees, etc, etc.

Maybe we'll get one in the winter when we're all stuck inside anyway...

Parenting more

I came across this quote on this blog...
http://www.simplehomeschool.net

"I tell people who ask about homeschooling that it’s just parenting — but more of it. If you enjoy parenting most of the time, you’ll enjoy homeschooling most of the time. If you don’t, and you can’t wait to send your kids elsewhere for most of the day, you won’t enjoy homeschooling, and it may not be for you. The lessons you learn in parenting are multiplied and intensified through homeschooling. I hope my kids are getting a good education — but I KNOW I am!"

People homeschool for all kinds of reasons. I've been at it for several years now and I can't say definitively why I do it. Some days, it's cause I love the flexibility. I can do six lessons in phonics and nothing else or one lesson of math, language, science, etc. Other days I love that I get to be the one who teaches my daughter what letters make the oo sound. Other days I do no "homeschooling" at all. We just live life together. I like that too.

Here's the thing. I really liked this quote at first, then I hated it. Now I'm not sure what I think about it. I hate it mostly because it makes parents who send their kids to school sound like bad parents who don't like their kids, which I know is not the case. Our son is in public school and I have tons of friends who are amazing parents with great kids who spend their days in school, as well.

I like it because it's got some truth to it, except for the "can't wait" part. I'm not sure the wonderful parents I know would say they "can't wait" to send their kids to school each day (well, maybe some days :) ). It's just what they, and I, do.

I honestly never considered sending my kids to kindergarten.

I knew I would homeschool at least that year with each of them. I just wasn't prepared to have that shift begin. You know, the shift that happens when your kids are around their peers more. They want to be like them, talk like them, have the same games/toys. I wasn't ready for that. "Getting a break" from my kids never seemed like a good reason to send them to school. There are, of course, times I NEED a break, but I don't think that's what school is for.

What I've realized each year, and why I partially agree with that quote, was that homeschooling makes you parent more. Alot more. And some days that's great. Other days it's awful and I would really like to only have to parent them for those hours in the afternoon/evening and weekends.

Any personal flaws, or personality clashes are often up front and personal everyday when you homeschool. I can't ignore them, well I could but it just prolongs the inevitable of having to deal with those and learning how to co-exist in peace.

So here are just two (trust me there are ALOT more), things about myself that I've had to address sooner then I would have liked because I'm around my kids all day long.

Personality flaw #1. I'm not a schedule person.
I don't have specific things I do each day at specific times. I pretty much wake up with a general idea of what needs to be done and some days I get those things done. Autumn does very well with a schedule. She likes to know what, where, when and with whom every minute of our day consists of. I've had to accomodate her, which has made me a better planner and she's had to accomodate me with learning to just go with the flow sometimes.

Personality flaw #2. I like lazy mornings...alot...too much. I day dream about being 16 and sleeping in til noon. I don't get out of bed some days til my oldest son is out the door for school. My husband, who is awesome, usually makes sure everyone has had some type of breakfast, if he's home.
I haven't solved this one yet. Sometimes I'm up and moving around by 700/730, most days I'm still laying in bed pretending to be asleep. I'm a little selfish about it. Maybe that should be #3, but I'll stop with 2 for now...

Blah, blah, blah

I have nothing interesting to say...this is going to be a pretty lame post, but I feel like if I don't write every few days, I may stop completely and I don't want to do that.

So I went to Fargo with my friend Amy this past weekend. It was a great trip aside from the 10 zillion times the kids watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and Caleb's incessant need to say "MOM, MOMMY, MA, MAMA" for 9 of the 11 hours!
I got to see the town where 2 of my very good friends will soon reside. Fargo was super nice...in April that is. I can't say I would love it if I had visited in December or January when it's 10 below. For now, I'll stick to just visiting them in the summer.

I kinda like leaving my husband for awhile. I like missing him a little, but I think I like being missed more. Is that weird?

My carpet is gross. So is my kitchen floor. It's linoleum. The problem isn't really the floors, it's that we almost solely exist in these 2 tiny rooms. 6 people, coming in and out all day, walking on these 2 floors. It's impossible to keep clean unless I had super powers that enabled me to shoot carpet cleaner out of my hands and a mop out of my feet. I don't see that happening.
I'm really looking forward to moving for the new floors alone.

Internal warfare

There are a few wars I'm currently waging internally. Not wanting to really share the specifics just yet, but it's things that could very well change the course of our lives. Sounds scary, huh? That's what I'm saying. These "wars" are one of my least favorite things about being an adult. For me the battle always lies somewhere between trying to use human reason to "figure" stuff out and trying to understand what it is that God would have me do. Maybe sometimes those match up and sometimes they just don't seem to. I have to reconcile that in my mind and it's hard.

I do think there are those little voices that lead us (don't say I'm crazy! I know you have them too.) But what if the voices can't agree? Ok, that sounds certifiable crazy.
How about if I rephrase that?
What if the pros and cons outweigh each other?
Much better...less crazy.
Or what if the pros and cons don't matter? What if trying to do what's best has nothing to do with pros/cons and is solely a decision that needs to be made without our flawed human reasoning? Have I confused you yet? Well, join the club!

Quite frankly, sometimes I think I know what I should do and I just flat out don't want to. What does that say about me? Yeah, I'm stubborn. I'm banking on the fact that God knows that and loves me anyway.

My motivation in most decision-making goes as follows...1. I really do want to lead a life that is pleasing to God. 2. I don't want to screw my kids up. 3. It really matters to me what my husband thinks about things. Not that I always agree, but I need to know where he stands. 4. Sometimes I disregard all of the above and mess up.

So, I battle. Do you?

Travel

I LOVE road trips! With kids, without kids, 4 hours, 20 hours. I'll do it! Pretty sure it's my mom's fault that I like to drive so much. As kids, we'd load up and drive down to my aunt's house outside New Orleans or take family trips to other family. I loved it and I still do.

I'm going to Fargo, ND with a friend this weekend and I'm so looking forward to it. Crazy, right? What's so enjoyable about driving for 11 hours with 4 kids? At times, it's not enjoyable at all, BUT...

There is something soothing to me about the scenery passing by. "There's nothing the road cannot heal" is a favorite lyric from a Bright Eyes song. It's so true for me. In between the chaotic times with kids, there are those silent times that my mind can wonder, dream, pray, think. I've written books (in my head), said thousands of prayers, found answers to questions, and had opportunities to talk with my kids or friends in those hours.

I know people who HATE driving and a part of me can see the reasoning, but I don't think I'll ever be one of those people. It's so exciting to me to load the car up all organized (for the 5 minutes til the kids claw through everything), fill my coffee travel mug, say a prayer and hit the road.

So, who's up for a road trip...? I'll be up for one as soon as I make it back from Fargo! :)

What a rollercoaster!

So this week has been interesting? We made a decision on Monday for Chad to take a new job, which would pay much less, but would theoretically be much less stressful for him. Well that would have been ok, I think, except that whole house buying thing that we're in the middle of. They don't like it when you take a new job and it's going to pay you less. Surprising, I know. We weren't surprised, but thought it would work out to be ok. It didn't. Chad had to turn down the new job (for the second time) and apologize like crazy to his current boss who had already set up interviews to fill his position. So all that and nothing has changed. He's still at the same job, which has alot of pros to it and some cons, like everything else in life.

So, here's my thing. This has been a struggle for us. I think there were a lot of red flags that kept coming up with the new job opportunity. I felt like we saw them, talked about them and then ignored them. Would it have been ok if it had worked out to get the new job and the house? Yeah, maybe. Timing means something, though. Both the house and the job seem like a good thing for us. They just didn't work out together. We had to choose. And, in all honesty, I have a huge sense of relief that we chose what we did. So those gut feelings, red flags, whatever you want to call them, those matter too. It wasn't going to be all smooth and easy regardless of what we decided, but at least that part is over and we can move on to some other less stressful decisions, like what color do we want to paint the office/guest room.

The one thing I know for certain...

is that I don't know anything. There are days(today) that I would like to forego making any decisions at all. I would at times prefer to crawl in a hole and come out with a clean house, well-adjusted children, and all major decisions made. What??? I can't do that!?! Crap!

There are so many decisions to be made in any given day, that I think I get decision burnout. Most aren't really major decisions, but it seems like lately for our family there have been some bigger ones. A change in job, buying/moving into a new house, homeschool vs. not homeschool, job or no job for me, blah, blah, blah! I'm sick of it! I know on some level that these aren't life or death decisions. I know if we choose one over the other it's not going to change the inner workings of the earth. It's just a decision. We can change our minds later and choose something different. So WHAT am I getting so worked up about?

I don't know.

See, it goes back to my first point...I don't know anything. I don't know if this job for my husband is going to be a good decision. I don't know if this whole house is going to work out for the best. I STILL don't know if I should be homeschooling any one of my kids or all of them. I don't know if I should get a job to help out financially. I just flat out DON'T KNOW! Does anyone else feel this way sometimes??
So here's what it comes down to for me. It's faith. I'm obviously not doing so great at that right now, but I know that's the bottom line. It's trusting that we're doing the best we can with what we know and the rest is up to Him.

So next decision...do I fold laundry or watch DWTS? Don't worry, I got this one...BOTH :)

Renovations!

So here's the short story...we're buying a house that's being renovated.
The long story is so great, though, so that's what I'm going to write about today. Back in December we heard from a friend of a friend about the McPherson Housing Coalition, a non-profit here in town that renovates houses and then sells them at cost to familys in need. They were taking applications for the house they were currently working on. We had been looking for a house for over a year and were having a hard time finding one in our price range that was both big enough and in relatively good shape. So we applied on a whim, not really thinking we would be selected. We found out in January that we were!! It is still a long way from being done, but we get to participate in the renovations and watch it take shape. It's been a great experience as we get to see all the people that have put their time and talents into this home not knowing who was going to ultimately occupy it. I'll add more pictures as the renovations progress! We're so thankful and we're SOOOOOOO excited to get into our new house!!

Love/Hate relationships

No, not people relationships. I think that all relations you have with people should just be loving ones...or at least liking ones...ok, at the very least tolerating in a loving way types of relationships.

I'm talking about those relationships that I have with things or behaviors. There are some things that I just purely love, like chocolate, for example. I can not recall a single time that I thought I hated chocolate.

Now excercise, that is one for sure. I love to hate it, or hate to love it, not sure which. Currently, I think I hate it, no love it, no hate it. See the dilemma? On one hand, I love that I feel stronger, I'm not quite so jiggly and most of the time it just makes me feel better. Then there are those times, I just don't want to do it, therefore I hate it. This is, I think, in order to convince myself that I can take a break. At times, working out makes it difficult for me to go up and down stairs or sit on the toilet, things that I need to do on a daily basis. Despite that, I'm planning on keeping it up for now.
Homeschooling. That's another one. See previous post of how often I love it. Most of the time, but not all. Maybe that's the key, if you love it MOST of the time, keep at it, but if you hate it most of the time, move on.

Relationships, I'm talking about people relationships now, are complicated (talk about a shift, huh?). I can honestly say, I don't hate a soul. Not that I never have, just that I don't right now. It's so much work to hate someone. There are alot of people in my life ,right now, that I just flat out love, which makes it difficult for hate to creep in. Besides the obvious people, like my husband and kids, I've been blessed with beautiful friendships. Some are old(the friendships, not the friends), some are very new, but all add much to my life. I'm really thankful for those, and for the ones that have waned or disappeared. I know it takes a lot of effort to maintain any relationship, so I try not to be too hard on others or myself when some drift. I love relationships. All kinds, the easy ones, the hard ones, the weak and the strong ones. They give life so much depth.
Til next time...

Homeschooling

I homeschool. In fact, I'm doing it right now. No, really, I am. Autumn is reading to me. I guess, technically, I've been homeschooling for about 4 years. You'd think I would have it figured out by now, but I'm told that having it all figured out about anything is a pipe dream. I have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. I love it, I really do... maybe 82% of the time. I'm probably personality-wise the last person who should be homeschooling. I don't like schedules, I'd rather just play all day. I'm not a teacher. I haven't been trained how to teach math or reading. I love learning what I want when I want and I've noticed I teach that way. I really think younger kids learn so much from playing, living together, working together, talking, etc. I'd much rather have a child who has a strong character then one who can recite the history of Greece(we just finished up Greece and we both loved it). Now, ideally, we could raise children who can do both, but alot of days I feel like I have to focus on one or the other.
So, some days we do a lot and some days we don't do any "school". Today I think I love it cause we're blowing through our lessons, Autumn has a great attitude, and Caleb has been sleeping so I feel like I can focus. Tomorrow...well that isn't here yet is it?

Easter

I really love Easter for alot of reasons, but this year it kinda feels like it just came and went. I wasn't "in to it" like I have been in the past. Not sure why really. I love it for what it means for my faith.
I get a little nostalgic around Easter too. It was a great holiday at my house growing up. Lots of family, food, and my mom's beautiful china. It only came out 4 times a year(Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Easter) and as much as I think I complained about setting the table and the dozen times I asked which side the forks went on, I loved it. It was simple and lovely with a singe long stem rose on it. I tried to get each plate to line up just right so the roses were all aligned the same. We all got to drink out of real crystal wine glasses too, although I don't remember but once or twice my parents drinking wine.
Oh eggs. Egg hunts are a ridiculous tradition really, but it doesn't get old(til the third or fourth time) watching them look for those eggs. As my siblings and I got older, the whole egg hunt thing got complicated with some older and some younger kids so they started doing 2 hunts. One for the youngers with lots of eggs with candy or coins in them. The other was a hunt for THE MONEY EGG. Some years there was just the one egg that they hid ridiculously hard and other years they hid a bunch but only one had the mother lode in it. And, by mother lode I mean, maybe $15-20 bucks. Serious cash.
I only found it once over the years, but victory was sweet since I dethroned my brother Josh who had found it several years in a row. Good memories. We're all so spread out now that we're older, it's been years since any of us have been together at Easter. Makes me sad a little. Sometimes I get jealous of those that have their families close by, but that's a whole other post...
Happy Easter!!

First Post

I've thought about blogging intermittantly over the years, but it seems like one of those things that I'd start and not keep up with. I have a tendency to do that with things. I'm sure that will be one of my posts at some point. Over the years, I've gotten tired of that little part of me so I've stopped doing some things to avoid the feeling of not finishing it. Anyone want to psychoanalyze that one!?! Too much information for a first post...? Maybe.

Well, a new friend got me thinking about doing it again and so here we go. I think I need to reevalutate what this whole blogging thing could be. Rather then something that is "finished" I may just use it as a journal, which could be a good or bad thing. We'll see.